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Meatwad: ...I would kill somebody in front of their own mama to get a ten-speed. And if anybody testifies against me, I'll gouge their eyes out.
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Ignignokt: (Threatening Frylock with the Foreigner belt) Fryman, fill your eyes with Double Vision.
Frylock: My eyes!
Err: Yeah! (Singing) Touch the skies...
Ignignokt: Those aren't the words, Err.
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Ignignokt: Getting it is easy; filling it with illegal substances and sending it across the border is not.
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(looking at porn)
Err: Oh man, you gotta check this out.
Meatwad: Oh yeah baby, that's a neat car she's washing. You think that's a straight 6?
Err: I think I have a straight 6.
Ignignokt: Ooooo. Err, your sexual innuendo is priceless.
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Carl: You shut up and you give me that belt!
Err: Well come and get it if you're tough enough. (Carl snatches belt from Err) Hey man he took my belt!
Inignokt: Try using the belt without this--the instructions.
Err: Just try.
Carl: I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!
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Carl: Who set this on head games?!
Meatwad: It's okay, Carl. Ooohh.. wee. Maybe it's not okay. But with computers nowadays, you don't even have to leave the house.
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Master Shake: Whoa! Okay, where do I stand?
Ignignokt: Out in the middle of the street. And be sure to close your eyes tight. That's the only way the babes can see you.
Master Shake: Yessss!!
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Meatwad: All the little birds and squirrels got burned up... (music plays) I mean I hate nature. Gimme a beer and a woman, I'll give that waterbed a workout.
Frylock: Meatwad!!
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Meatwad: Hey Frylock. Do we have any pot?
Frylock: No we don't.. Marijuana is illegal.
Err: What about nitrous, man..
Ignignokt: Shut up, Err.
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Meatwad: But how am I ever gonna win that 10-speed?
Master Shake: How are you ever gonna ride a 10-speed with no frickin' legs? You're just gonna bust the a** that you don't even have! Who bothered to spawn you? You know? You know what I'm sayin'?
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Meatwad: (learning to count) Let's see now... 1...2..
Master Shake: 42! 1973! 18!
Meatwad: You shut up! 1...
Master Shake: 400,000!!!
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Carl: Oh, I'll give ya a magazine, buddy! Hey! It's full of hollow points! You're gonna love it when I put those in a gun, and then put 'em in your brain!
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Ignignokt: This pornography is infinitely excellent. This dresser however, is very boring.
Err: Yeah, get rid of it!
Ignignokt: Torch the dresser, Meatwad.
Meatwad: But, this is where Carl keeps his clothes.
Ignignokt: Look, these girls don't have any clothes on and they're not complaining.
Err: Yeah man, they're kissing each other!
Ignignokt: And you want Carl to be forever kissed, don't you?
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Ignignokt: Fry-man, we are full of religion now. Everyone, bow your heads and pretend to be serious.
Err: Do it or I'll bow 'em for ya!
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Meatwad: See, the object of the game is to get this machine somehow to spit out tickets. Now I really haven't figured out how that works yet...and I don't know what these wooden balls are for. I mean I've been eatin' em.
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Meatwad: Well I don't think so. Last time you were here, you threw me at an old lady's mailbox and you made me moon Boy Scout troop 324!
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Shake: How you ever gonna ride a ten speed with no frickin' legs? You're just gonna bust the ass you don't have! Who bothered to spawn you? And why?!