Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1

Master Shake: (At the dismal pizza place) See? Kids love pizza and they love squalor!

Meatwad: Frylock, I'm friends with a toilet paper tube, an apple, and a box. I'm crazy in the head.

Zakk: Where's Geddy? Shake: Who? Frylock: Geddy Lee? Shake: I don't...I don't know who your talking about. Meatwad: Of Rush. Of Salesman. (Signs to himself) Of salesman! Frylock: You swore to God that he would be here. Shake: Yeah, uh...Geddy's people said that he was heavily involved with his solo albu-- Zakk: He wouldn't do it, would he? Shake: Well, yeah he would-- Zakk: If he had the money! Shake: Yeah, well, mostly I was dealing with the maid who answers the phone; I have told Consuella several times...he's getting a Post-It on his fridge, I do know that. Zakk: (Angry) Why did I even get wasted and work with you? I mean, this isn't even a real microphone. (Holds it up) It's a stick with a marshmallow on it! Shake: The room is intimate. Just project. Zakk: Project what?! I don't even know what the f*** you're talkin about! Shake: You gotta go from the diapragm. Zakk: I mean I was f***ing wasted, when we recorded it!

Meatwad: This asbestos is itchy!

Shake: Kids are comin' to see the Black Mountain Scorpion Hoedown Bluegrass Experience Gang, featuring Zakk Wylde on washtub bass. Zakk, did we not do the soundcheck? (Zakk throws the bass at Shake) Zakk Wylde: No, jackass, I'm not working with any plastic scorpions. These things are beyond gay.

Shake: Do you know how many birthdays there are a year? Hundreds, literally hundreds.

Shake: It's the birthday song. You know,the famous one. The one that puts everyone to sleep.

The Lyrics: Deep within the womb of time, a creature thus be born The seed of life is united with the egg of tyranny Gestates forth from within the womb of life for three-quarter and nigh a year The creature thus be born! The creature thus be formed! And ye of years... [Your current age + bells] Will chime! When the heavens open up and drink from the silver cup The creature thus be born! And blow the magic horn! To alert the spirit deep within the cycle of life. The creature has begun it's journey deep forlorn, upon this day which he be formed In the sea of mucus the spirit rides down from the mountain and unites with the creature in the womb A holy union, dark mortality, until the dark mortality breaks the chain of life The creature thus be born And every year raineth down the celebratory tears A celebration of the years from mere mortal sky

Meatwad: Hey ya'll, it's snowing! They're gonna cancel school. Shake: Oh no. What kind of car is it? And don't say a chariot driven by a train of white stallions. Frylock: It's a chariot driven by a train of white stallions. Shake: Aww hell, it's Zakk!

Frylock: Look, just get your damn friends in here! Meatwad: Frylock, I'm friends with a toilet paper tube, an apple, and a box. I'm crazy in the head. Boxy: Well, you gonna dis me boy? Dis me to my face.

Dr. Weird: BULLSH*T!!!