Blood Test

Season 2, Episode 3, Aired

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8.8
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Archer's favorite hooker Trinette comes to him claiming he fathered her child, and Barry from ODIN offers to supervise a paternity test. Malory convinces Archer to try to swap out his DNA sample, so he ends up having to break into a vault while being a liter low on blood.moreless
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Fan Episode Reviews (4)

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  • ok ep but pretty badl written at times

    6.5
    "Fair"
    By shadowysea07, May 20, 2011
    while they alluded that the child of the hooker is cyrils obviously it isn't. the only reason they didn't do the blood test there was one bad writing 2 because blondi odin archer is a jerk and 3 because he swapped them anyway. since blondi obviously switched the samples anyway it didn't matter that archer swapped them before hand. cuz they were going to make it his child no matter what happend. besides they've pulled the bait and switch before with archers dad. first they made it look like the leader of the kgb was then odin. until we have a real dna test without chance of swapping the parent child relationship is up in the air.moreless

  • Sterling Archer: Father of One

    8.5
    "Great"
    By Neksmater, May 20, 2011
    Archer's favorite hooker Trinette shows up at ISIS claiming her child to be Sterling's. To prove that the child is his ODIN takes a blood sample and hold it for a day in their secure vault until they can test it. Archer and Malory desperately try to find a way to switch the blood out for someone else's so that Archer can get out of the situation. The episode offers genuine laughs with the inclusion of Woodhouse for the first time this season and Cyril spiraling further into sexual addiction following his breakup with Lana. This season of Archer recycles a lot of last season's jokes and often get tiresome such as the turtlenecks and the Lana has big hands one but other than that it is a fairly solid episode.moreless

  • And ths is only the 3rd episode of a 13 episode season? Thank you TV Gods!

    10
    "Perfect"
    By renaldsRAP, May 20, 2011
    I cannot believe there is no review for this yet but I am more than happy to be the first to let any "Archer" fan who hasn't seen it yet know that it's every bit as good as "Skorpio" and could possibly be better. Right now those two are vying for the favorite episode crown in my mind. But enough compaing masterpieces. Let's go in to what made this a classic.

    1) Archer could be a daddy - an instant catalyst for

    2) AMAZING diologue - not a rarity on "Archer" for sure. The only difference is the quickness of this episode's dialogue is staggering. I believe I'm fairly smart and that I have a pretty good grasp of the show's comedic pacing. I have watched this episode three times since last night just to catch the majority of all the subtly random-yet-awesome quips and inside jokes flying sround in this one. And I'm sure the next time I watch it I will catch even more.

    3) Geat plotting - The amazing dialogue mentioned above could have been gone to waste if there had been chaotic plotting that made little to no sense (a la "Killing Utne") but I already mentioned that this episode started off with the great springboard of Archer's potential fatherhood - and the episode squeezes every last bit of comedy out of that premise and makes you wish the episode was longer so they could have fit MORE in! All I can really say is ODIN returns, Barry returns, and Arcehr's life pretty much sucks - in the most hilarious way.

    4) Continuity - Something this show does so well is done even better here as hardcore fans will recognize the return of Archer's favorite "call girl", ODIN resurfaces, and there are nice barbs thrown at each other referencing past episodes from season one. All in all - it's quite a geek-fest.

    5) Plot twists - Ah, but see that's something I can't tell you about as that would spoil the surprise. I guess I can tell you the best part tho - Once you know the twist, it doesn't dampen your enjoyment of the episode when you watch it again! That's the best kind of twist a writer can make.

    It took last season about half-way thru it's run to truly find it's solid ground. This season seems to have much sturdier footing and knows how to entertain you as well as make you laugh. With greatness found so early, my only hope is that every episode from here on out is nothing short of gold.

    Kudos Adam Reed, H. Jon Benjamin, Aisha Tyler, and all the rest cuz I don't wanna name them all - Let's keep season 2 moving full-steam!moreless

  • 203

    4.0
    "Poor"
    By thefanof, May 20, 2011
    This was only the second episode of Archer that I have seen, but two is more than enough for me.

    Archer has some good lines, but given the show's impressive cast (Benjamin, Parnell, Greer, Walter) you have to expect more here. It moves at such a rapid pace, as seen best in tonight's episode. I get that that is the style Archer is going for, but some jokes are best when you let them actually sink in.

    As for the plot, pretty generic as well, given that this is supposed to be a show that does away with most cartoon cliches.moreless
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  • TRIVIA (3)

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    • Cheryl's extreme hatred of babies seems inconsistent with her attitude in the season 1 episode "Diversity Hire", when she desperately wanted Conway to impregnate her.

    • The bank vault's passcode is 934-TXS. This is a code that has been used in previous Archer episodes, as well as on another Adam Reed show, Sealab 2021.

    • Archer's ringtone is called "Mulatto Butts", was produced specifically for the show, and is available for download from the FX network's official Archer website, as of April 2011.

  • QUOTES (7)

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    • Trinette: (opening gifts) Ew, what is this? Homemade salad dressing? Krieger: Breast milk. Trinette: Ew! I actually, uh, have my own. Krieger: So... you won't need this. (takes jar) Cheryl: Here. (drops bag) It's some plastic dry cleaner bags. Oh, and a book about SIDS. Trinette: What!? What kind of **** gift is that? Pam: Yeah, right? I made mine. Krieger: (offscreen) Me too! Archer: (yelling at Woodhouse) That's disgusting! If I wanted to look at your bare feet, Woodhouse, I'd sneak in and do it while you're asleep. Krieger: (offscreen) Me too! (later) Trinette: Whoa, somebody's got a full diaper, huh? Krieger: (offscreen) Me too!

    • Barry: A blood sample is enough to determine paternity, and after we take a liter... Archer: (blood being drawn)A liter?! How much is a... Barry: Archer will be left in a weakened state, which should prevent his attempting to compromise the test. Archer: (getting woozy) Turtlenecks... I invented the turtleneck... Malory: But you're bleeding him dry! Archer: Seriously... Barry, how much is a liter? Barry: About eight gills. Archer: What's a gill? Barry: Does that help? Archer: (very woozy) You're just talking in circles, buddy... what's a gill? (as Barry continues talking) What's a gill... Is that metric? Barry: ...Any questions? Archer: Yeah... Barry... I'm still unclear on the liter thing... vis-a-vis a unit of volume... (passes out)

    • Archer: (breaking into bank) Whoa, I'm definitely missing that blood. Maybe if I drank some of Cyril's blood, I'd... wait, what am I saying? I don't even know his blood type! (fires grappling hook and begins to zipline across) But I do know a liter of melon balls can't replace a liter of blood, because I'm kinda drunk for this!

    • Archer: (looking at the liter of Cyril's blood) Holy ****, how am I still alive? Eight gills is way more than I thought. Malory: That's why you're so woozy. Archer: Yeah, that, plus all those melon balls. I had about nine of them. Malory: Why the hell were you drinking!? Archer: Uh, hello? It's a party! Malory: It's a baby shower! For the bastard child you humped into a filthy whore! Archer: So, I'm obviously not saying now, but one of these days... you're going to make the best grandma ever.

    • Archer: What do you even do here? Sit on your ass and analyze data? Well I'm a field agent, Isaac Newton. I risk my life. So yeah, I do deserve the best space in the parking garage. Like it would kill you to roll fifty feet? (we see he is addressing a man in a wheelchair) The stupid thing's electric.

    • Archer: Because I told you to buy lemon curd, Woodhouse. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?

    • Krieger: So, have you ever thought about having a baby?
      Cheryl: I don't know. Sometimes I think, you know, I'd like to adopt a little baby... so I could abandon it in a mall.
      Krieger: That answers my follow-up question.

  • NOTES (1)

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  • ALLUSIONS (9)

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    • Lana: Sexual addiction's not a real thing, *******! Cyril: Well, just wait until the new DSM comes out, then we'll see. The DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association. It is generally referred to as the guide to all common mental disorders. It is occasionally revised, usually to add new disorders.

    • Archer: Well I'm a field agent, Isaac Newton. Isaac Newton was a British scientist, who developed important ideas in mathematics, physics, astronomy, and philosophy in the late 1600s.

    • Woodhouse: (going through withdrawal) Ants! All over my body! Ray: (slaps him) So shut up and help me find the nutmeg and I'll make you some Malcolm X tea! Malcolm X was a black minister and human rights activist, influential in the 1950s and 60s. In his autobiography, he mentions that during his time in prison, he and the other prisoners would use nutmeg mixed into water as a recreational drug. The book stirred public interest in the drug.

    • Archer: (sarcastically) Yeah, great, I'll just have Igor bring a villager up to my castle. (calling) Uh, Igor! Woodhouse: (opening door) Yes... Igor is the cliched, deformed servant to many different villains that have appeared in film and television, such as Dr. Frankenstein and Count Dracula (though he was not a character in either novel).

    • Pam: Come on, Lana, you dated Mr. Archer forever... Cheryl: And you have nothing to show for it! Ray: (as Lana starts to get upset) Paging Doctor Loggins... Ray is making the joke frequently heard on Archer about the "Danger Zone", which is a song by Kenny Loggins.

    • (flashback)
      Woodhouse: Let's liven things up, Burroughs. Five grams of junk says I can shoot a pina colada off your wife's head.
      This is referencing William S. Burroughs, an American author who accidentally killed his second wife in 1951 in Mexico City. She was balancing a glass on her head while Burroughs tried to shoot at it, but he missed.

    • Lana: Did you see me holding that baby? Gillette: Looked liked Tyson holding that dove. This quote references Mike Tyson, heavyweight boxing champion, who has a fondness for pigeons.

    • Ray: Give her the rabbit, Lennie.
      This is a reference to the John Steinbeck novel Of Mice and Men. Lennie is a strong, mentally-disabled field worker who loves to pet soft things like rabbits.

    • Archer: I guess I skipped the Emily Post chapter about how to introduce your mother to a hooker.
      Emily Post is an author famous for her books on proper etiquette.

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