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So, 4 episodes in and all is not well in the cocaine business, I'm personally shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YA!

After last week Yakuza/Pam's deepening spiral into cocaine addiction episode, the former ISIS team, (we have to come up with a new group name, preferably involving the word cartel), decided enough was enough and it was time for an intervention!

Her addiction and Yakuza snafu had cost the group roughly 105 lbs of cocaine (or 47.6 kg). Pam is understandably upset about this, (say what you want about cocaine, as a slimming aid it really works!), and Woodhouse has to deal with her when she threatens to go to the cops when threatened with rehab.


After shooting down Mallory's plan to kill Pam with a cocaine cake, Krieger comes to the rescue with a new and improved mind control chip. Unfortunately Pam goes all Kong, escapes, grabbing Cheryl and disappears into one of secret tunnels.


To make matters worse Agent Hawley (Gary Cole, yay!) turns up and Woodhouse lets him in (dammit Woodhouse!) and he proceeds to search the mansion and do a "Protective sweeeeeeeppppp" after hearing a scream. Mallory hatches a plan to tranquilize and then blackmail Agent Hawley (which didn't actually happen) and the team split up to search for Agent Holly and safeguard the cocaine from him....and Pam.


While Lana is guarding the cocaine in the kitchen she has a moment of self doubt and ponders her options - running away, turning herself in, what'll happen to the baby - which leads to a nice moment between her and Archer.


Pam and Cheryl are bonding over their mutual distaste of the idea of having a mind control chip implanted, so Cheryl led Pam to the cocaine via the secret passages, which is accessed Scooby Doo style (secret lamp switch). Pam, (and Cheryl), are subdued with tranquilizers, then Krieger and Cyrill go back into the secret passage with them, leaving Agent Hawley empty handed.

But he does give the team the idea of using their international contacts from their ISIS days (because that'll go well!)
Mallory likes the idea of selling the stash to an international cartel, but this time there will be no "Cobra whiskey and ladyboys" for Sterling (pity).
We also learn that Krieger implanted the chip into Cheryl (now Cherleen or Sherleen) and she is PURE COUNTRY!!


Notes:
*Lots of porn genres were mentioned tonight....what was your favorite?....I mean.....I didn't know any of them!...(ok, I knew all of them...I can feel you judging me through the internet!)
*All Kreiger has to do to get Ray walking again is a simple reboot - I know it may sound cruel, but I think it can wait.
*Pam looks really healthy on cocaine!
*Gary Cole was again awesome as Agent Holly
*Archer and Lana were very sweet together while trapped in the kitchen. Do you think it would be a good or bad thing if they hooked up?
*Also, Archer made listing various complications that are possible during pregnancy funny!
*I like the possibilities that this episode left us with - Agent Hawley watching the gang, Pam's addiction, Cheryl's burgeoning Country music career (and a possible Nashville crossover?), the international cartels and the Archer/Lana relationship.
*And I agree with Pam - those graphs looked like dicks!
*What did you think of Ron leaving? He was good in a couple of episodes with Sterling, but other than that, he didn't really have an impact for me, so not a big loss in my opinion.

**Archer wont be back for 3 weeks**

Lines of the night:

Malory: Who uses Metric?
Lana: Every single country on the planet except for us, Liberia and Burma!
Archer: Really - cause you never think of those two as having their shit together.

Mallory: Lick it
Archer: Urgh...well, can't unhear that!
He licks the spoon
Archer: HOLY SHIT! Yogurt is amazing! Why have I never tried yogurt?

Malory: It's good because it's cocaine!
Archer: Oh my God, and little kids eat it!?

Cheryl: This is only somewhat like that old gypsy woman said!!

Mallory: Whats is wrong with you?
Archer: I learned it from you!

Cyril: He can't come in without a warrant - well, unless you invite him in.
Archer: He's not a vampire, idiot. Plus it's daytime

Cyril: How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock!

Archer: Heh heh...firm 12, you know as in inches. JESUS .3048 meters! HI, WELCOME TO NAZI CANADA....slurp, gag, gag, slurp, nom, nom, ehhhhhh??

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Archer: Gerd Lana! Do you have Gerd?

Archer: I was concerned about you - blow me!

Archer: So if I were you, I'd run out that door while I still had a chance. I'd also waste 5 precious minutes of my head start in the race to freedom, giving that swell guy Archer a combination thank-you-goodbye blow job.

Hawley: I'll be watching you like a hawk. That's been bred with an eagle...to produce some kind of eagle-eyed superhawk...with a badge.

Lana: Cheryl?
Cheryl: Nah, Cheryl's gone. I'm Cherlene now. And if somebody don't fry me 6 goddamn eggs and some Carolina fries I would personally be shocked, SHOCKED I tell ya, if by morning this place ain't burned to the ground.
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Archer continue to be a brilliant comedy.
Bye Ron, won't miss you.
This is one of the few shows where I kind of ship a couple (Archer and Lana and you know Archer loves her...well, as much as he can). Yeah, Archer interacting with the baby could be great. he was great with the other baby (seamus?).
Those charts were definitely phallic in design.
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This season just keeps getting better and better. The jokes hit every single time. Fantastic.
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Best archer ever!
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I love that Archer knows nothing about porn. It seems completely out of character and yet, totally believable.

The new Pam looks really good. She'll probably have less trouble getting laid now.

Archer and Lana? Good for Archer, bad for Lana.
There is no doubt that Archer cares deeply for Lana, even beyond wanting to bang her every chance he gets, but he is way too damaged to ever have healthy relationship with a woman, let alone a fiercely independent one like Lana.

That, seemingly random, mix of what Archer knows all about and what he is completely ignorant of, is one of my favorite aspects of his character.

I was more surprised that Ron stuck around as long as he did.

The Metric line was my favorite of the ep.

One of my favorite aspects of the show is this wierd mixed up time period it takes place in. They have the full internet and yet, the Soviet Union still exists. They have cell phones, but their computer terminals look like something from the '70's.
It's like it takes place in a fluid time-line between 1965 and 2005.

BTW, doesn't Cheryl have her own servants?
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I don't think Cheryl ever had servants.

I'm more invested in Archer and Lana getting together because I want to see him interacting with the baby
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He was pretty good with the baby Seamus.
Even if he did give him a tattoo.
Imagine Lana's reaction to that!
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Nice recap Grumpclown! This season of Archer has been seriously lacking but...I thought this was a decent episode, and is a nice set up of whats to come. Don't really care about Ron so he can stay gone, he didn't really add much to the show since he arrived. I like the possibility of Archer and Lana, I always have, and can't wait to see what is in store for them this season. I also have a feeling that the baby is really Archer's...we'll see if that ends up being true. I like Agent Hawley (Gary Cole is awesome - I LOVED Harvey Birdman) so I know I will enjoy him chasing after the gang. Pam and her coke addiction is insane, I can only imagine what other trouble she gets them into. We need more Kreiger on the show - he never ceases to amaze me with the crazy things he comes up with. I don't mind if he holds off on rebooting Ray's legs - though I think that it is hilarious that that is all he has to do to get him walking again. Good episode. Can't believe I have to wait 3 weeks til the next new episode.
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I wonder if Kreiger forgetting to reboot Rays legs will be a running gag?
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One little question: why do you always invert the "ie" to ""ei"?
Speilberg, Kreiger - I don't get it. Messes me up. Lately I aimlessly wandered around looking for any clues and was almost bitten by a hound. We have hounds here.

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I often wander around aimlessly, due to the meds
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Ok, you've convinced me, I will watch this one as my first Archer episode, Yes, I'm still an Archer virgin (you wanted your porn mention, you got'em)
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Alright, you've had your cherry popped err, been deflowered by Archer. Now, if you have time, go back and start from season 1 episode 1;-)
Completely offensive (for some people but I love it) and 100% hilarious!
Tons of various references (not just porn).
Danger Zone!
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I watched it and now I'm a bit confused. It was pretty funny, well paced and it almost could have been a one off. Indeed lots of references (I liked the Alien ones) and a mistake (Minitel in France was retired in 2012). Is it always like this with so many references like the porn or was it just for this episode?
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Try the previous episode (s05e03). It was a lot funnier, IMO.
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I took your advise and watched it. It indeed was funny but personally I love references and 04 was packed with it (not only the porn ones).
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I don't know about that....there were significantly fewer porn references in it
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True enough. :-)
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Not so many porn references, but overall, yes its like this in most episodes
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Here is some mood music for you to pop your cherry -
BOW CHICA BOW WOW
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I did pop a beer while watching.....
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I hope thats not a euphemism for something else!
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Nope, just playing around with words and a Heineken.
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