Archie's Fun House

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CBS (ended 1973)

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  • Season 1 (23)
  • Really Big Caeser / Acrobats

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 23 - 8/1/11

    The gang serves up more movie parodies on "The Early Early Show". The lineup includes a spoof of the 1931 gangster epic Little Caesar, with Archie as Edward G. Robinson and Dilton Doily as George Raft) (who wasn't even in the original film). Also on the bill are "Young Tom Kilowatt", starring Moose as the famed inventor, and yet another agonizing chapter of "The Pickles of Pearline." After the show, Big Ethel tries, tries again to capture Jughead with various misfire devices. "Really Big Caesar" was initially telecast in tandem with "Acrobats". ~ Even though he should know better by now, ringmaster Archie introduces those acrobats extraordinaire, Reggie and Moose (love those pink tights!). Betty's diary, as usual, stretches the truth a bit. And the Giant Jukebox regales the live audience with three songs: "Little By Little", "We're One Big Family" and "My Singing Guitar".moreless
  • All Tied Up / Tennis Courts

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 22 - 8/1/11

    In another performance of the Funhouse Magic Show, Reggie performs his famous "escape" act, only to get into a knotty dilemma thanks to his assistant Moose. Also on the bill are Miss Grundy and Mr. Weatherby, taking a crack at the classic "Magic Cabinet." And in other developments, Big Ethel uses a rocket, skis, and a one-girl jet plane in her indefatigable efforts to entrap poor Jughead. It's Reggie and Moose vs. Betty and Veronica on the tennis court--and guess who wins. Meanwhile, Coach Cleats heads to India for the traditional "elephant pull" (huh), attempts to climb Pike's Peak, and journeys to Italy for gosh-knows-what. This week's musical program, courtesy of the Giant Jukebox, includes "The Big Boat", "Don't Let It Get You Down" and "We're One Big Family". "Tennis Court" was originally telecast in tandem with "All Tied Up".moreless
  • Jungle Doctor / Lake

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 21 - 8/1/11

    In another installment of "The Early Early Show", the gang presents their own versions of Hollywood classics. Jughead and Dilton Doily star in "Scraggly and Livingstone"; Moose must choose between boxing and music in "The Concerto Kid"; and Betty is threatened with "Ronald's ray-gun" in the final chapter of "The Pickles of Pearline." Elsewhere, Big Ethel resorts to chemicals and lassos in her nonstop efforts to abduct Jughead. "Jungle Doctor" was originally telecast in tandem with "Lake". ~ At Riverdale Lake, Reggie and Moose hope to impress the girls by fixing up what seems to be an old, derelict sailboat. Later, Betty once again embellishes upon her "relationship" with Archie as she adds another entry to her diary. And the Giant Jukebox presents three songs: "La La La Love", "We're One Big Family" and "The Ballad of 51st Street". "Lake was originally broadcast in tandem with "Jungle Doctor."moreless
  • Fishing Trip / Mr Factory

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 20 - 8/1/11

    The Funhouse "Trashathon" sets out to clean up America, despite Reggie's "help" and Coach Cleats' leap over a row of garbage cans. Big Ethel uses a glider, a backpack propellor and an ancient roadster in her campaign to ensnare Jughead. And it's the girls vs. the boys to see who can catch the most fish. "Fishing Trip" was originally telecast in tandem with "Mr. Factory" on a 1970 episode of Archie's Funhouse. ~ For his "round-the-world" sports segment, Coach Cleats goes in for skydiving, Italian bike racing and deep sea diving--with his usual lack of success. But the highlight of this segment is an extended music video of The Archies' "Mr. Factory", a pioneering anti-pollution song. Also heard on this episode (originally telecast in tandem with "Fishing Trip" are "Jungle George" and "Looks That Say I Love You".moreless
  • Space Spectacular / Fresh Air

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 19 - 8/1/11

    Archie and the gang go to outer space, figuratively speaking. Jughead whistles a "space song", Big Ethel performs a musical space walk, Moose does imitations of the stars (in the sky, not in Hollywood), and Rocket Reggie brings up the rear as usual. After the show, Big Ethel uses a set of wings, a huge slinghost and a battering ram in her never-ending efforts to capture Jughead. "Space Spectacular" was originally telecast in tandem with "Fresh Air". ~ Betty and Veronica go on an anti-pollution kick, beginning with Archie's exhaust-spewing jalopy. Unfortunately, the girls don't know that you can't use soap on a dirty carburator. Elswhere, Moose and Reggie repeat their acrobat act. The songs on the Giant Jukebox roster include "Oh Sweet Suzie", "Don't Run from Love" and "Mr. Factory" This segment of TV's Archie's Funhouse originally aired in tandem with with "Space Spectacular".moreless
  • Mind Reading / Fast Bucks

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 18 - 8/1/11

    Welcome to Archie's Funhouse Riverboat, where anything can happen and probably will. On this occasion, "Swami" Moose performs a mind-reading act assisted by Veronica, Jughead performs the "elevator dance" (guess what the punchline is!), and "Wabash" Weatherby presents his one-man Dixieland band--for about ten seconds. Elsewhere, Big Ethel's efforts to capture Jughead involve a trampoline, an umbrella parachute, and "hamburger perfume." "Mind Reading" was originally telecast in tandem with "Fast Bucks". ~ Archie stages a rodeo, featuring trick rider Reggie (assuming he ever gets on the horse) and expert rope twirler Texas Moose. Elsewhere, Big Ethel performs a human cannonball act, the better to ensnare her heartthrob Jughead. And "Thunderbolt Theater" once again proves that old jokes are the best. "Ethel's Rocket" originally aired in tandem with "Mr. Weatherby's Camping Trip" on the same episode of Archie's Funhouse.moreless
  • Flying Fools / Birthday Dinner

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 17 - 8/1/11

    The Funhouse "Trashathon" sets out to clean up America, despite Reggie's "help" and Coach Cleats' leap over a row of garbage cans. Big Ethel uses a glider, a backpack propeller and an ancient roadster in her campaign to ensnare Jughead. And it's the girls vs. the boys to see who can catch the most fish. "Fishing Trip" was originally telecast in tandem with "Mr. Factory" on a 1970 episode of Archie's Funhouse. ~ It's Archie's birthday, and Betty and Veronica prepare him a dinner he'll never forget (or ever eat!) Coach Cleats enters a Japanese sumo wrestling tournament and a Swiss bobsled race. And amidst a sea of bad jokes, the Giant Jukebox offers the danceable pranceable tunes "Love Went Round", "Sunshine" and "Somebody Likes You". "Birthday Dinner" was originally broadcast in tandem with "Flying Fools".moreless
  • Harp / Painting Archie

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 16 - 8/1/11

    This time we're treated to a showcase from the Riverdale High Cultural Center. Big Ethel plays the harp, but not for long; Moose impersonates George Washington; Betty and Veronica recite Shakespeare; and Reggie's Bulgarian folk dance almost gets under way. Later, Big Ethel uses a butterfly net, a bird costume and a gigantic spring in her latest attempt to ensnare Jughead; and Reggie thinks that a high-wire act will impress the girls. "Harp" was originally telecast in tandem with "Painting Archie." ~ Mr. Weatherby and Miss Grundy insists upon taking over when the gang decorates the gym for the big dance. Though Mr. W's painting skills leave a great deal to be desired, the kids react in a surprising fashion. Also, Reggie and Moose perform the famous "sawing a man in half trick", and soon they're beside themselves. Songs from the Giant Jukebox include "Young Love", "Rowboat Ride" and "Sunshine." "Painting Archie" was initially broadcast in tandem with "Harp".moreless
  • Trashman / Baseball

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 15 - 8/1/11

    Archie puts on a Funhouse vaudeville show, with Moose and Reggie teaming for a song-and-dance act, magician Jughead promising to make Hot Dog disappear, and Coach Cleats pulling out another dubious strong-man routine. And in other developments, Big Ethel gets stuck in a phony trashcan in which she was hiding in order to sneak up on Jughead. "Trashman" originally aired in tandem with "Baseball" on TV's Archie's Funhouse. ~ The gang goes on a picnic, where Betty and Veronica try to sweet-talk Archie into a game of baseball. But Archie is unresponsive, so the girls pretend to be in danger, hoping that our hero will race to their rescue--with near-disastrous results. This week's musical selections from the Giant Jukebox include "Dance", "Sunshine" and "We're One Big Family". "Baseball" was originally telecast in tandem with "Trashman."moreless
  • Fayre / Nature Photography

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 14 - 8/1/11

    The Fun House County Fair promises to dazzle the live audience. Sideshow attractions include Betty trying to guess Veronica's weight, and Jughead passing off Hot Dog as a "talking dog" (it's an old joke but a reliable one). And on the main stage, Madcap Reggie rides a cycle across a tightrope--or does he? Meanwhile, Big Ethel tries to entrap Jughead with a giant hamburger. "Fayre" was originally telecast in tandem with "Nature Photography". ~ Erstwhile photographers Mr. Weatherby and Miss Grundy attempt to capture nature (in the form of an elusive bird), bickering all the while. Coach Cleats participates in a drag race, then prepares to brave some treacherous rapids in a canoe. And where did that alligator come from. Songs from the Giant Jukebox include "Sunshine", "Comes the Sun" and "Honey". "Nature Photography" was originally broadcast in tandem with "Fayre".moreless
  • Chef's Kitchen / Professor's Magical Tricks

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 13 - 8/1/11

    It's "Archie's Amateur Show" today, as Reggie mixes up an egg souffle and leads a kiddie orchestra, Moose does bird calls, Big Ethel juggles, Mr. Weatherby attempts a "one man band" act, Coach Cleats tackles the trampoline. After the show, Big Ethel, tries to ensnare Jughead with a weird new invention. Finally, more hilariously unfunny jokes are on the way from "Thunderbolt Theater". "Chef's Kitchen" was originally broadcast in tandem with "Professor's Magical Tricks". ~ "Professor" Jughead tries his hand at a magic act, but the rabbit comes out of the wrong hat and the "levitation" trick is embarrassingly exposed by good old Hot Dog. The live audience leaves in disgust, but Archie lures them back in with three songs from the Giant Jukebox: "Anyone Can be Anything", "The Lonely Cricket" and "Comes the Sun". This segment of Archie's Funhouse originally aired in tandem with "Chef's Kitchen."moreless
  • Ethel's Rocket / Mr Weatherby's Camping Corner

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 12 - 8/1/11

    Archie stages a rodeo, featuring trick rider Reggie (assuming he ever gets on the horse) and expert rope twirler Texas Moose. Elsewhere, Big Ethel performs a human cannonball act, the better to ensnare her heartthrob Jughead. And "Thunderbolt Theater" once again proves that old jokes are the best. "Ethel's Rocket" originally aired in tandem with "Mr. Weatherby's Camping Trip" on the same episode of Archie's Funhouse. ~ Mr. Weatherby shows the kids how to build a tree shelter, unaware that the tree has been targeted for demolition. Moose plays the violin and the piano, in a manner of speaking. And Betty imagines herself into the story of Robin Hood, with Archie as Robin, Reggie as the evil Sheriff, and Veronica as--Cinderella?. Songs from the Giant Jukebox include "Hey Little One," "Mr. Factory" and "Love Land". "Weatherby's Camping Corner" was originally telecast in tandem with "Ethel's Rocket".moreless
  • Snowball Skating / Bumsteer's Annual Rodeo

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 11 - 8/1/11

    The gang gathers together to perform an ice-skating act, featuring Mr. Weatherby in a Santa suit and Reggie attempting to "jump the polar bears" (guess there weren't any sharks). Big Ethel pursues Jughead on a pogo stick. And the bad jokes highlighted in "Thunderbolt Theater" manage to keep the live-action audience entertained. "Snowball Skating" was originally telecast in tandem with "Bumsteer's Annual Rodeo". ~ Coach Cleats attends a rodeo in Wyoming, throwing the usual amount of bull, then heads to the Swiss Alps in an effort to be the first man to ski down the Matterhorn. Meanwhile back at home, pie-throwing and blackout gags abound, courtesy of the Giant Jukebox. This week's songs include "Comes the Sun", "Sweet Saturday Night" and the ubiquitous "Love Vibrations".moreless
  • Magic Reggie / Surf's Up

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 10 - 8/1/11

    Reggie the Great's magic act doesn't quite live up to its hype. Betty and Veronica perform a yodeling act with the "help" of Moose. Coach Cleats performs a highly suspect act of strength. And Big Ethel uses a giant rubber band in her never-ending efforts to capture Jughead. All this, and "Thunderbolt Theater" too. "Magic Reggie" originally aired in tandem with "Surf's Up" as an episode of Archie's Fun House. ~ The gang goes surfing, with Reggie laughing at his friends' feeble efforts; trouble is, he turns out to be no better at "Hanging Ten" than the others. The vaudeville team of Moose and Reggie perform a song, dance and snappy patter act, while Veronica and Betty sing. And Mr. Weatherby once again tries to introduce his tuba into the festivities. Songs from the Giant Jukebox include "Monkey See, Monkey Do", "Lucky Me" and "Love Vibrations". This made-for-TV animated segment originally aired in tandem with "Magic Reggie".moreless
  • Animal Antics / Roller Rink

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 9 - 8/1/11

    As Archie welcomes the viewers to today's big show, Reggie tries vainly to stir up audience interest for his new act. Also, Mr. Weatherby shows how NOT to chop down a tree, Big Ethel tries to capture Jughead with a giant slingshot, and there's jokes and slapstick galore in the latest edition of "Thunderbolt Theater." In her diary, Betty embellishes upon her latest meeting with Archie at a roller rink. Dilton Doily invents a Rube Goldberg-like backscratcher for the benefit of Mr. Weatherby. And the Giant Jukebox takes time out from dispensing jokes and sight gags to regale the live-action audience with three songs: "The Ways I Love You" "Love Vibrations" and "The Laughing Song". "Roller Rink" was originally telecast in tandem with "Animal Antics".moreless
  • Ice Block / Circus Act

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 8 - 8/1/11

    Circus ringmaster Archie introduces that intrepid team of Reggie and Moose as they perform a death-defying trapeze act. Betty weaves a web of half-truths as she adds another entry to her diary. And the Giant Jukebox issues forth a wealth of puns and sight gags, along with three songs: "Love Vibrations", "Falling in Love is Fun" and "I'm Just a Puppet on a String". "Circus" was originally telecast in tandem with "Ice Block". ~ Archie tries to get the show started, but Reggie keeps interrupting him. Once this is over with, Jughead runs onstage and hands Archie a huge block of ice, then dashes off with Big Ethel in hot pursuit, the ensuing chase including an attempt to capture Jughead with rocket-powered skates. Then there's another bad-joke festival on "Thunderbolt Theater." "Ice Block" was originally telecast in tandem with "Circus Act" on Archie's Funhouse.moreless
  • Seesaw / Drive In

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 7 - 8/1/11

    Archie, Reggie and Moose perform a death-defying seesaw act. Artist Jughead paints a picture of Reggie with a few surrealistic embellishments. The "Little Archies" give a bath to Mr. Weatherby's dog Fluff. Sabrina the Teenage Witch's weekly magic lesson involves a cup and a string, and the unwanted interference of Cousin Ambrose. And Betty once again plays fast and loose with the truth in her diary. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ Archie and Jughead head to the local drive-in restaurant, where Betty and Veronica work as waitresses. Reggie sells Moose a square football. The "Little Archies" enter a soapbox derby. Dilton Doily invents a teeny-weeny flea trap for the benefit of Hot Dog. And "The Side Show" finale serves up more wretched jokes and abysmal puns for everyone's amusement (or at least almost everyone). This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
  • Telephone / Door

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 6 - 8/1/11

    Archie encounters several kinds of trouble when he answers an old-fashioned telephone. Mr. Weatherbee gives a lesson in paddling a canoe. Jughead imagines himself at sea on a whaler, in pursuit of "Mopey Dick." And on "How to Do It Time", the gang attempts to build a dune buggy out of ordinary household items--but Jughead has a better, and faster, plan of action. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ The titular door turns up as a running gag during the climactic "Side Show" segment. Elsewhere, Archie and Moose demonstrate some new water-skiing techniques; Professor Jughead offers a few lessons in agriculture. Sabrina teaches the kids a magic trick involving a glass and a coin. Coach Cleats participates in such curious sports as rocket-powered barrel jumping, tall-tree diving and the Boot Hill Motorcycle climb. And in the "Little Archies" segment, it's Archie vs. Reggie in a sled race. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
  • Piano Movers / Light Shows

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 5 - 8/1/11

    It's Laurel and Hardy redux, as Archie and Moose try to deliver a balky piano up a steep hill. Later, Archie films an old-fashioned melodramatic movie, with Betty tied to the tracks by Reggie, and Jughead running the train--without brakes. Sabrina the Teenage Witch shows the kids a magic trick involving a comb, with the dubious assistance of Aunt Zelda. Coach Cleats wrestles an alligator, highdives into the ocean, and does some airborne waterskiing. And Professor Jughead gives a lesson in punctuality. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ Dilton Doily repeatedly tries to put on a "spectacular" light display which proves to be anything but, and also demonstrates a few inventions. In another of his wild daydreams, knight errant Jughead gallops to the rescue of a maiden imperiled by a dragon. And in the "Little Archies" segment, Reggie climbs onto the roof of a garage--and gets a "warm" reception from his mother. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
  • Paint Your Car / Breaking Car

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 4 - 8/1/11

    Archie paints his jalopy with the "help" of Jughead's new high-powered (and low-functioning) spray gun. Reggie shows off his ski-jumping skills to an unimpressed Veronica. Terrified by a scary TV show, Hot Dog Jr. is convinced that the house is being burglarized. And Archie demonstrated a most unusual method of drawing a portrait, then gives a horse-riding lesson. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ The gang hops into their new self-built jalopy, but Big Moose proves to be a bit too much for the fragile vehicle. Mr. Weatherby demonstrates how to climb a mountain--and how to fall off of one. Big Ethel demonstrates various techniques in chasing and catching Jughead. Sabrina the Teenage Witch shows the kids how to perform a simple magic trick involving an empty pop bottle. And Coach Cleats covers such international sports as log-throwing, dog-sledding, and kangaroo boxing. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
  • Jughead Pulls Fire-Hose / Cannon

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 3 - 8/1/11

    While Jughead performs a running gag with a fire hose (which looks more like a rope!), Mr. Weatherby demonstrates how to pitch a pup tent, a painting of a kite springs to life, and Reggie dreams of being a fearless elephant hunter. And in the "Little Archies" segment, the kids enter a school painting contest, with a renegade water pistol determining the winner. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ A flip of the coin determines that a nervous Archie perform a "human cannonball" act, with Reggie manning the cannon's controls--but guess who gets the worst of this situation. Elsewhere, Professor Jughead teaches a karate class and does a good deed for a confused Miss Grundy; and Big Ethel deploys a rocket-powered skateboard in her latest effort to capture the man of her dreams. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
  • Photo Machine / Elevator

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 2 - 8/1/11

    Archie tries out a talking photo machine, but the results are hardly to his liking. Outside the Fun House, Professor Jughead gives a skiing lesson, and later tries to elude Big Ethel as she attempts to capture him with "the old tiger-pit trick." Also, Jug and Reggie participate in a WW1-era "Flying Ace" daydream; Dilton Doily invents the world's only self-starting bird shower; and everyone pitches old jokes and bad puns during the "Side Show." This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ A hyperactive elevator puts a crimp in Archie and Moose's plans to attend a rooftop party. Betty records a few eyelash-inspired exaggerations in her diary. Coach Cleats demonstrates such offbeat international sports as human archery, elephant polo and uphill ski races. Big Ethel pretends to be drowning to attract the attention of lifeguard Jughead. And Sabrina the Teenage Witch shows the kids a new magic trick involving a string and an ice cube. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
  • Coke Head / Shadow Boxing

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 1 - 8/1/11

    Archie tries to use a soda pop machine, only to get everything except something to drink: hot dogs, alarm clocks, and even "Reggie in a Bottle." Elsewhere, Betty adds a new and highly fanciful chapter to her diary; a pineapple upside-down cake requires some very unusual ingredients; Sabrina the Teenage Witch shows the kids how to perform a magic trick with a coin; and in the "Little Archies" segment, the kids confront a schoolyard bully. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour. ~ Archie does a little shadow-boxing in a gym, but his shadow refuses to cooperate; meanwhile, Moose gives the folks at home a weight-lifting lesson. In other develops, Dilton Doily invents an elaborate burglar alarm for the benefit of Mr. Weatherby; Jughead tries his hand at painting; Betty adds a few more little white lies to her diary; and in the "Little Archies" segment, Little Reggie gets his comeuppance after pulling several practical jokes on his friends. This "Fun House" episode first aired in 1969 as a segment of The Archie Comedy Hour.moreless
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