Miss Brahms: Have you thought about where you might go on holiday this year?
Mrs Slocombe: Well, I was thinking of going to the Isle of Wight with Mrs Axelby, but I might just pop over to see the Pope.
Miss Brahms: Oh, but those Italian men are always trying to grab your legs and ladder your tights.
Mrs Slocombe: A pilgrim's path is not an easy one, Miss Brahms.
Mrs Slocombe: (taking her role as defense counsel very seriously) Are you Captain Stephen Peacock, a floorwalker at Grace Brothers?
Captain Peacock: No, I'm a rice pudding maker in Epping Forest.
Mr Humphries: Mr Harman, have I ever been anything but straight?
Mr Harman: Could you rephrase that, please?
Mr Humphries: Have I ever nicked anything?
Mr Harman: You've always behaved like a perfect gentleman.
Mr Humphries: But have I ever nicked anything?
Mr Harman: (to the others) I don't think he's got the bottle.
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