Are You Being Served?

Captain Peacock: Miss Brahms?

Miss Brahms: Yes, I know, Captain Peacock. I'm late.

Captain Peacock: Not good enough, Miss Brahms. You are fifteen minutes late. What would happen if everybody else was fifteen minutes late?

Miss Brahms: The store would open at quarter past.

Mrs Slocombe: My dear girl, I could be wined and dined every night if I wanted to. If it wasn't for that awful wrestling match in the car when you got home. Those roving hands and the sloppy kisses and the fight to get the door open and escape.

Miss Brahms: Did many of them get away, Mrs Slocombe?

Mr Lucas: What's all that about then? Mr Humphries: We've known each other for ages. We see a lot of each other. Mr Lucas: What? You and that gorgeous thing?! Mr Humphries: She's a very good friend of mine. Mr Lucas: Look at those legs! Mr Humphries: That is a very lovely person. Mr Lucas: Your telling me! Mr Humphries: I'll tell you something else. He's much more settled since he's had the operation.