Mr Humphries: (about Mrs Slocombe) She's a very kind, warm and generous woman. She'd make someone a very good wife.
Mr Spooner: Why don't you marry her then?
Mr Humphries: I'm not ready to get married.
Mr Spooner: How do you know?
Mr Humphries: My mother told me.
Canteen Manageress: You now get the executive menu at canteen prices. But as some of these dishes are up to Cordon Bleu, you have to order early. Then the chef knows what tin to open.
Mrs Slocombe: I felt it in the canteen.
Mr Humphries: You felt what?
Mrs Slocombe: Our eyes met, and I knew you knew I knew you knew I knew you knew!
Mr Humphries: I knew nothing.
Winston: Age? Mr Humphries: Oh, I never give my age, but let me put it like this. If life were a train ride from London to Manchester, I'd just gone through Birmingham.
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