Mr Humphries: Would you like a boy or a girl?
Mrs Slocombe: Half and half.
Mr Humphries: Well, it happens in the best of families.
(After Mrs Slocombe shows up) Mr.Humphries: Mrs. Slocombe. Mr. Rumbold would like to know why you're late.
Mrs.Slocombe: Well the central heating broke down. I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front of it.
Captain Peacock: How thoughtful of Grace Brothers to leave the doors open, so that we, the customers can actually get in to buy things.
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