Mrs Slocombe: You know, I was talking to Mrs Axelby last night and she can't wait to get into the club.
Miss Brahms: I thought the club was going to be for sophisticated people.
Mrs Slocombe: Mrs Axelby can be very sophisticated when she puts it on.
Mr Spooner: I thought you said she was the one banned from the pub for standing on her head and singing "On a Clear Day You Can See Forever".
Miss Belfridge: (drinking champagne) This stuff goes straight to my head.
Mrs Slocombe: Well, there's plenty of room for it.
Mr Humphries: (about Rumbold's skills as a piano player) You're not good enough.
Mr Rumbold: What do you mean? I've got perfect pitch!
Mr Humphries: So has Wembley Stadium, but you're not playing there.
(Mrs. Slocombe calls her cat) Mrs. Slocombe: Oh my little pet I'm ever so sorry. But I'll make it up to you when I get home. Why don't you open your little flap and play with your ball. (Mrs. Slocombe listens for a bit) Mrs. Slocombe:(Outraged) MR. AKBAR HOW DARE YOU!!!
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