Army Wives

Michael Holden: Claudia Joy Holden, after seventeen years of marriage my heart still skips a beat everytime I look at you. Claudia Joy Holden: Michael James Holden, after seventeen years of marriage I can't believe that tired old line of yours still works.

Roxy: Hell, where I'm from the lawn's for car parts.

Roland: Whoa! It looks like we have more women getting into my car. Claudia: Let's go, we got babies to deliver.

Roxy: So, are ya asking me? Trevor: Yeah. Roxy: So ask me! Trevor: Will you marry me?

Pamela: (In labor) Vodka and a hammer. I need vodka and a hammer!

Pamela: (Seeing the look on Roland's face as she gives birth) You having a good time? Roland: Let's just say childbirth is disgusting as it is miraculous.

Pamela: Sit next to the Anti-Christ, going to Hell by association. Roxy: Oh, I reckon I got you beat on the Hell front. Pamela: Last week I was a drug dealer. This week I'm carrying the chaplain's kids. You think you can top that? Roxy: I can try. My kids aren't my husbands. I was married to the first one's daddy till he sucker-punched me. The second one was just a friend who came over to "comfort" me one night. I've known Trevor, my husband, for all of 17 days now. How'd I do. Pamela: I'm impressed.

Roland: (After Pamela gives birth to an African American child and the women all look at him) Well it wasn't me!

Roxy: I'm never gonna fit in here Trevor! Trevor: We fit Rox. That's all that matters.

Roxy: He hits you once, hit him back. He hits you a second time, shoot him in the balls!

Roxy: Well if I didn't just serve up toe-jam on a idiot cracker!

Trevor: Roxy, you work two jobs right? And you got two kids from two different men. Now, I know I only met you four days ago, but I think you're my soulmate!