Arrested Development

Marta: What is wrong with you? I thought you were good people. I thought you were noble. I thought you care about family, but you clearly don't. It's over. Both of you. It's over.

Barry: What are you doing? They'll add ten years to your sentence. George, Sr.: They'll never catch me!

Lucille: Look, you're my husband, and you belong back at home with me. George, Sr.: You really love me. Lucille: Call it what you want. I'm tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish.

Maeby: I'm glad to have this family, you know. 'Cause I know I said some bad stuff, but it's much better here than it was in Boston. And I have a cousin here, so even if my parents do get divorced, I have you, right? Narrator: George Michael realized that no matter how much it upset him, he didn't want to take Maeby's family away from her. George Michael: Yeah, you got us all right. Maeby: Now, all I need is a boyfriend.

Lucille: (about Maeby) She's not real. She was made in a cup. Like soup. $130,000 cup of soup.

Buster: So, are you going to hit me? Gob: No, I'm not going to hit you. You're not the brother Marta's cheating on me with. Buster: Oh, who is? Gob: How should I know, Buster?

Buster: Well, I would never, uh, do this while you were still going out, but, uh ... if you're done with her, I'd sure like a crack at her. Gob: Right, right ... That sounds great. Go for it, buddy ... But you know that she's kind of used to being with me, right? So ... it would be sort of like going from prime rib to, I don't know, weird brother of prime rib.

Lucille: Why haven't you called me back? I'm worried about your father's hearing. Michael: Mom, listen, it's going to be fine. I'm on it, ok? I'm taking care of it. I'll be there first thing Friday morning. Lucille: It's tomorrow at 4:30! Michael: Oh, I should write that down.

Buster: Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. That's what I did in high school when I almost got into a fight. Michael: I think that was about being attacked by bears.

Michael: Gob, there's no need for violence. There never is. I'd like to think that we're all, you know, intelligent, mature ... um ... adults that can settle their differences, whenever they come to light, through words. Gob: Yeah, well, I let my fists do the talking. Not this one, 'cause obviously, I need it for coin tricks and stuff. But this one, I let it speak for both of them.

Maeby: Don't talk to me about my mom. She's crazy. Both of them are. Sometimes, I wish we weren't even related. George Michael: Hey, you know, maybe we're not. Because when you think about it, we don't really even look like each other. Maeby: No, I was talking about my parents. God, what's wrong with this family?!

Michael: I got to tell Gob. Marta: No, I have to tell him. Michael: Yes, but-but you-you speak a little slowly, and I really want to get this thing moving along. So, listen. You do the noble thing, and you tell him you've met someone else. I'm going to do the noble thing, and tell him that it's me. While I'm doing my noble thing, you could put those photos in a box, get rid of the wand, and we can do the wrong thing the right way.

Marta: You sound like your brother. Michael: Oh, thank you. Marta: Gob is like the cock of the walk, but not you. You are so kind. You're sensitive, like a woman. Michael: That's enough.

Gob: You're a good guy, mon frère. That means "brother" in French. I don't know why I know that. I took four years of Spanish!

Michael: I owe you an apology. Marta: No, I owe you an apology. I'm so ashamed that I was so disrespectful to your brother. Michael: Oh, who cares? Nobody respects him.

Tobias: When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually ... When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec -- George Michael: I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you here.

Michael: That's one of the things that attracted me to you; your sense of right and wrong. I also like your hair and your face and your breasts.

Barry Zuckerkorn: It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family. Lucille: For how long? Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops. Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.

Gob: Hey, guy ... They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother Tio. Tio: ¿Cómo? Gob: You're going to be in a como, all right.

(Michael remembers he has to appear in court to support his father) Michael: My father's ... hearing. Marta: With my father, it is the vision.

George Michael: Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Gob: Yeah, sure, dozens of times.

(Maeby walks down to see her parents fighting) Lindsay: I'm saying everytime something starts to go well for you, you blow it. Tobias: Nothing has ever gone well for me and you know it! Lindsay: That's my point, you ... (sees Maeby) ... handsome cowboy, you. Tobias: Oh, great. And now you're mocking me. You selfish c... (sees Maeby) ... ountry-music-loving lady.

Gob: (to Michael) Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.

Michael: Mom wanted me to tell you that she doesn't care whether you live or die, but if you're not dead, she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in a blue sweater. Buster: Damn it! I hate the blue sweater. Michael: She said it would look nice with the grey pants. Buster: Damn it! She's right.

Michael: (to Marta) Hi. My brother said we can do it. That didn't come out as romantic as I'd hoped, but ...

Gob: Where am I? Am I in two-thirds of a hospital room?

(Buster walks into the courthouse with a mariachi band) Lucille: Oh, for God's sake. He's on his own for two days, and he joins a gang.

Barry: Sorry, sorry, sorry I'm so late. I had another hearing. Here's the good news: I think I'm going to get off, huh? I have a good lawyer.

(Reading off George Sr.'s crimes) Judge Ping: Conspiracy, racketeering, evidence tampering, fraud, theft, grand theft, petty theft. Barry: Wow, I-I did not get that page.