George-Michael asks his father if he has any spare record albums, as his girlfriend Ann wants to have a Christian music bonfire, in which they burn satanic albums. George-Michael decides to go out and buy some albums, so Michael volunteers to fill in at the banana stand for him. Michael's mother arrives at the model home, once again pleading with Michael to bid on her at the charity auction this year. Buster normally does it, but he's in Army training.
Lindsay, meanwhile, has the day free after attending a pro-gun rally where she couldn't decide which side to support. But it wasn't a complete loss, as she landed a date with Moses Taylor, who stars as Frank Wrench on the TV detective drama Wrench. Down at the banana stand, Michael comes across Sally Sitwell, whom he had a crush on since he was 15. But his father's rivalry with Sally's father, Stan Sitwell, had sunk any potential relationship.
Gob has relationship troubles of his own, finding himself growing attached to the affection Lucille Austero has been giving him. And Tobias's attempt to join the Blue Man Group has come to an end. With Lindsay scheduled for a date with TV actor Moses Taylor, Tobias has to find some way to prove he's a man. Michael checks in on his father, who first requests a hot tub for the attic, then ridicules Michael for never being able to pull the trigger with a woman.
Michael goes to Lucille and asks for the country club card so he can "happen across" Sally Sitwell. In exchange, he promises to bid on her at the charity auction. And Tobias sees a flyer offering a reward for the capture of a dangerous wolf on the loose and decides it's the perfect opportunity to prove his manhood. At the country club, Michael does indeed run into the Sitwells, who invite him to join them for lunch. At the same time, Lucille 2 is taking Gob out to lunch at the club. Michael tries to pay for the lunch, but his card is declined because of increased activity. That activity being George Sr. buying a hot tub for the attic.
At home, Michael finds his father incapacitated by a day of sitting in the hot tub, boiling bag meals in it and drinking the water. But after George Sr. discourages Michael from pursuing Sally Sitwell, Michael decides he will indeed pursue her. Lindsay, meanwhile, is waiting in the park for her date with Moses Taylor. She's wearing one of her mother's furs in an attempt to make Moses think she has money. However, the heel on her shoe breaks and when she howls in pain with a twisted ankle, Tobias shoots her with the tranquilizer gun he bought to bring down the wolf on the loose. Moses Taylor, seeing Lindsay knocked off, leaves her on a bus bench and takes off running.
Later that day, Michael goes to help Sally Sitwell with the car trouble that Gob has created for her. Gob has an old trick of siphoning gas from a woman's car, then appearing with a spare gas can to rescue her. Only, Gob had a flint up his sleeve to make a fireball magically appear on demand, and a spark from the flint set Sally's car on fire. Michael suffers burns and smoke inhalation trying to put out the fire. In the hospital, Michael angrily tells his mother that since she only has pool privileges at the club and they didn't help him impress Sally at lunch, he won't be bidding on her at the charity auction.
Also at the hospital, Tobias learns that his plan to impress Lindsay backfired, as in her tranquilized state she believes that Frank Wrench saved her. When, in fact, Moses Taylor left her on a bench and is currently fleeing the state. Sally arrives at the hospital to check on Michael and tells him she feels bad for whoever owned that car that was on fire. She leaves before Michael can ask her out, so he decided he will bid on her at the auction.
And Lucille, with no other options, asks Gob to bid on her that night. Gob, having been dumped by a 60-year-old woman in the past hour, needed the esteem boost and agrees. At the charity ball that night, Michael looks at his tranquilized sister and realizes nobody is going to bid on her. Tobias, desperate to save his wife, bids the $5,000 that Michael has in the face of zero competitive bids.
Meanwhile, George-Michael and Ann's Christian music bonfire turns out to be much more popular than they had expected. But only because Maeby advertised it as a CD burning party, and kids from school showed up to burn music from each others' computers. Back at the auction. Stan Sitwell tells Michael he thought he would bid on Sally. He hoped he would, in fact, because he had always liked Michael. Michael tells him he wanted to bid, but had no money. So Stan offers Michael cash in exchange for handing over that nice Corvette when he drops off Sally at the end of the night. And bidding opens on Lucille Austero. When Gob learns that Stan Sitwell is going to bid on Lucille, he jumps in with $10,000, easily surpassing Sitwell's $800 bid.
Outside, Sally learns that Michael sold his car to her father and, upset that her father is once again interfering in her personal life, tells Michael that she can't date him.
On the next Arrested Development...
George Sr. shows up to bid on Lucille, but the sound of his wolf call and the smell of teriyaki chicken interfered.