Best one liners from Arrested Development

  • Avatar of buffyjl

    buffyjl

    [41]Apr 21, 2007
    • member since: 06/16/05
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    Steve Holt: Steve Holt!

     

    And here's a great 1-liner from awesome Maeby,

    Maeby: Steve Holt!

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  • Avatar of werewolf-snuff

    werewolf-snuff

    [42]Apr 21, 2007
    • member since: 03/22/06
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    Lindsay I started a new business with "beads"

    Gob: Bees

    Lindsay: Beads

    Gob: Beads!

    Michael: Gobs not on board.

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  • Avatar of asecooper222

    asecooper222

    [43]Apr 23, 2007
    • member since: 03/12/05
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    Gob: "I look at 100 dollars the same way I think of 100 pennies!"

    *POOF!* *Pennies fall and the board starts grabbing them as The Final Countdown plays*
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  • Avatar of musiq143

    musiq143

    [44]May 1, 2007
    • member since: 12/06/05
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    GOB: The tears aren't coming! The tears just aren't coming!

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  • Avatar of MadeInIreland23

    MadeInIreland23

    [45]May 6, 2007
    • member since: 06/08/06
    • level: 25
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    Micheal: "Gob, you need to get rid of the Seaward (C-Word)"

    Lucille: "I'll leave when I'm good and ready!"

     Awesome!

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  • Avatar of itscrazyman

    itscrazyman

    [46]May 8, 2007
    • member since: 02/10/07
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    Gob: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.
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  • Avatar of bigdog1334

    bigdog1334

    [47]May 10, 2007
    • member since: 02/07/07
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
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    Tobias: "You know, first of all, we are doing this for her, okay, because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead. I'm sorry. That was 100% inappropriate, and I do apologize profusely."
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  • Avatar of SleepTight

    SleepTight

    [48]May 12, 2007
    • member since: 06/16/05
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    • posts: 7,535
    RussMac316 wrote:
    Tobias: "I'm afraid I just blue myself."


    Definitely that one
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  • Avatar of locke-ness

    locke-ness

    [49]May 17, 2007
    • member since: 05/11/07
    • level: 11
    • rank: Red Shirted Lt.
    • posts: 369

    "Illusions, Michael. tricks are something a wh**** does for money...or cocaine."

    "Army had a half day."

     

    "Look at banner, Michael!" (Banner reads: Family Love Michael!)

     

    Not a one liner, but one of the best exchanges:

     

    Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.

    Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?

    Wife of Gob: No, your sister's husband.

    Gob: Michael? Michael!

    Wife of Gob: No, that's your sister's brother.

    Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me. Me?

    Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.

    Gob: My brother in law?

    Edited on 05/17/2007 5:45pm
    Edited 3 total times.
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  • Avatar of kaoken10

    kaoken10

    [50]May 21, 2007
    • member since: 04/19/07
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    Michael: C'mon, tell the truth
    George-Michael: Okay, it was for me. I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.

    White Power Bill: White Power!
    Gob (getting stabbed): I'M white!
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  • Avatar of locke-ness

    locke-ness

    [51]May 23, 2007
    • member since: 05/11/07
    • level: 11
    • rank: Red Shirted Lt.
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    kaoken10 wrote:
    Michael: C'mon, tell the truth George-Michael: Okay, it was for me. I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. White Power Bill: White Power! Gob (getting stabbed): I'M white!

    That was one of the best George Michael moments ever!  that and...

    George Michael: Don't worry, I'll be bringing the salmon rolls soon!
    George, Sr.: How many times do I have to tell this kid chicken wings?!?

    Michael: What do you think of when you hear the name, "Sudden Valley"?

    George Michael: Salad dressing. But I don't really want to eat it.

    Michael: What about, "Paradise Gardens"?

    George Michael: Yeah... I can see myself marinating a chicken in that...

     

     

    Lindsay: That doesn't matter. Aunts can fill that role. Teachers can fill that role. And, someday, you're going to find the right woman to fill that role. But until then... I'll be right across the hall.

    Narrator: Lindsay had never been more proud of anything she had said in her entire life.

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  • Avatar of mohitmrao

    mohitmrao

    [52]May 25, 2007
    • member since: 08/05/06
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
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    Tobias : I'm one of the only people who is an analyst and a therapist. I'm an ANALRAPIST.

    another Tobias moment;

    Lady at the counter in a wig store : Are you gonna buy something, or are you curious?

    Tobias : well, you can say that I'm buy-curious.

     another one;

    Tobias : Michael, you can put your love-arrow in me any time 

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  • Avatar of vcisking

    vcisking

    [53]May 26, 2007
    • member since: 01/21/07
    • level: 10
    • rank: Holy Level 10!
    • posts: 52

     

     

    Gob: Tell you what we're gonna do: "Rock Paper Scissors" for it.
    Michael: No, no I'm not...
    Gob: One, two, three. Paper covers rock.
    Michael: It is a rock, though. Should beat everything.
    Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. It's kind of like on a boat with "Women and children first."

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  • Avatar of buffyjl

    buffyjl

    [54]May 27, 2007
    • member since: 06/16/05
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    George Sr: I outta shave your head and make you sit under that camera all night, Mister.
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  • Avatar of BloodWillow

    BloodWillow

    [55]Jun 3, 2007
    • member since: 08/02/06
    • level: 11
    • rank: Red Shirted Lt.
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    I have so many. Well, here are my all-time favourites.

    Carl Weathers: Baby, you've got a stew going.

    Tobias: Tobias... you blowhard!

    GOB: I don't see you crying, robot. You taste these tears. Taste my sad.

    Buster: We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.

    Tobias: Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

    GOB: Great news. Dad wasn't crushed to death.

    GOB: It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.

    And I love everytime that GM gets flustered talking about Maeby, but those tend to be more than "one-liners."

    Edited on 06/03/2007 1:24pm
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  • Avatar of Big_Tuna815

    Big_Tuna815

    [56]Jun 4, 2007
    • member since: 05/19/07
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 216

    Lucielle: Well, I'm off to the hospital bar.  

     Michael: There is no hospital bar, mother.                                                                                                                     

    Lucielle: Well! This is why people hate hospitals!

     

    Michael: It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.

     

    Everyone: I've made a huge mistake

     

    Everyone: Her?

     

    Michael: Where'd you get that?   

    Lindsey: Mom gave it to me...sweet old thing.  

    Michael: Lindsey, only two of those words describe our mother.                                                                                       

    Lindsey: Fine, old thing gave it to me.

    Edited on 06/04/2007 10:15am
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of sienster

    sienster

    [57]Jun 5, 2007
    • member since: 02/02/06
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    Buster: Bleeeeep, bleeeeeeeeeep, bleeep, bleep, "You old dirty slut". 


    Simply the best, I wish I knew what he really said!!!

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  • Avatar of Chanouel

    Chanouel

    [58]Jun 6, 2007
    • member since: 03/26/07
    • level: 19
    • rank: Fall Guy
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    Sorry, this is not a one liner but it's one of the funniest conversations in my opinion:

    Cab driver: Where to, mate?

    Tobias: The Gothic Castle

    Cab driver: Gothic @sshole?

    Tobias: That's what I said!

     

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  • Avatar of kaoken10

    kaoken10

    [59]Jun 7, 2007
    • member since: 04/19/07
    • level: 11
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    Buster: Why should I cheer for Anyoung? Anyoung never cheers me.
    Anyoung: Go fatty.
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  • Avatar of kaoken10

    kaoken10

    [60]Jun 7, 2007
    • member since: 04/19/07
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    Oh and...

    Wayne (lawyer): I shall hide behind this plant

    and

    Wayne: I have a legal obligation to tell you that there is NO candy in this room.
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