Round 2:
Tobias: I was walking down a strange place today, a place I've never set foot in before.
Narrator: Tobias, walking down a street he'd been down many times, saw a book he'd written years earlier as a psychiatrist ["The Man Inside Me"]. The book, initially unsuccessful, had suddenly caught fire .. although strangely, only in the gay community.
Narrator: Gob charged at Michael with the scissors, but Michael,
Michael: Put it down.
Narrator: as he always did, picked rock...
Gob: Make it collapse. Make me look foolish.
Michael: Gob, don't do this. Gob, the scissors!
Narrator:...which beat scissors. Unfortunately, the whole incident was covered by the paper.
That one is so clever!
Buster in Lupe's house without his glasses:
Narrator: And Buster was finding himself right at home.
Buster: Oh, my God! I used to have a shirt just like that.
Narrator: It was Buster's old shirt. Lucille had given it to Lupe.
Buster: And the hand chair! I had one in my room! I wonder where that went.
Narrator: It went right there.
Narrator: Indeed, Ice had always bounty hunted to support his first love: party planning.
That one is just ridiculously hilarious
Michael: Which one are you wearing right now? Is this the ready-to-burst model? Now, there's zero trust here. Good-bye. It's been fun... not.
Narrator: Michael had hoped something more dramatic would have come out of his mouth. Or at least more current.
Buster:My army training tells me this is going to be a hot mission.
Michael: A hot mission?
Buster: Yes. I create a diversion, and you grab George Michael and go. We need a name... Maybe: Operation Hot Mother.
Michael: [pause] [looking askance at Buster] L-Lets try and top that.
Narrator: They never did.
GOB: Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son...
Narrator: He does.
GOB: But if I ever do I'm either going to take him to the cabin in the woods or I'm going to promise to take him and then not ake him. But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him
Narrator: GOB was growing up.
Awesome...gotta love GOB
Rita: Instead of building houses, maybe you should be building land. On the ocean. There's no land on the ocean, Michael.
Michael: [pause] You are brilliant.
Narrator: Yea. She wasn't.
Lucille: I'm trying to seduce him.
Michael: Who's the "I" in that sentence?
Lucille: Me!
Michael: You?
Narrator: Her.
Narrator: Please, tell your friends about this show.
Narrator: Now that's a clearcut situation with a promise of comedy. Tell your friends.
Narrator: And some powerful players showed up...
Surrogate: George, Bill [...] from Foxco Industries...
Narrator: Sort of.
I love SOBS
Tobias: Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she'd [Maeby] like a suit like this.
Narrator: That is her suit.
Tobias: They probably don't make it in a woman's though.
Narrator: They only make it in a woman's.
Lucille: [to strippers] Any of you boys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: I'm not even going to tell you what they thought that meant.
Michael: Let's see someone else keep this family together.
Narrator: It was Arrested Development.