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George Bluth Sr. / Oscar Bluth
Lindsay Bluth Fünke
James Alan Spangler
The obscured headline on the story of Wayne Jarvis's discrimination case against Barry Zuckerkorn reads "Jarvis Nails Zuckerkorn For Gay Bash".
Barry's website is "www.barrygood.biz".
Portugal is referenced several times in this episode as being in South America and as a Spanish-speaking country. In fact, Portugal is located in the western limit of Europe (limited by the Atlantic Ocean and Spain) and the language spoken is Portuguese, not Spanish.
Early in the episode when Buster is talking to Lucille Austero, she is flipping through a newspaper. One of the pages that can be seen has a headline which reads 'Dead Sox...' and above that is a banner which reads A.L. Division Races. Obviously this newspaper is from late in the baseball season, probably August or September while the episode is supposed to be taking place near Christmas.
In the scene where Gob and Michael are going after their father, a Foothill Transit bus can be seen nearby. Those busses do not run in Orange County.
Lindsay: How'd it go?
Michael: Well, the bad news is you're in debt again, and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry.
Michael: The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again.
George, Sr.: Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
Barry: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.
Maeby: I don't think you're a monster.
Lucille: And I think you're a lovely girl. You know what? I think you and I ought to spend more time together.
Maeby: Yeah. And that'll drive them crazy.
Maeby: You ever get the feeling like you don't even matter?
Lucille: Only when I'm around my children.
Michael: Dad, you're not going to outrun me in that dress!
George, Sr.: Come on. Michael, let go!
George, Sr.: For God's sake, I'm not even wearing a jock.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
Michael: Guy's a pro.
Monti: You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed, you know. You were so still and god-like. You know, it was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer.
George, Sr.: Glad I could make a difference.
Lucille 2: You ready to show me off before God and the whole world?
Buster: Well, it's not my Dad's reaction I'm worried about.
Michael: Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion, and we were wondering if there's some sort of legal way that we can humiliate our mother? Something shaming, something public.
Wayne Jarvis: I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it?
Lindsay: My thing with Tobias was a secret, like you stealing your brother's girlfriend, you little weasel. I mean, I open up to you, you run off and tell Mommy.
Michael: Excuse me. Excuse me! Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. Like it wasn't just a bunch of lies to get me to pay that debt, huh? Isn't that why you got me drunk in the first place?
Lucille: What are you doing here?
Gob: I had to get away from Marta. Ugh. If I have to smell another meal of fish, rice and mango, I'm going to kill somebody.
Michael: Oh, um ... there's a big bowl of candy in my office. Why don't you go eat it?
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind the couch.
Michael: What a pro.
Wayne Jarvis: If you retain my services, I will get your father out of jail, and we will be counter suing before the end of the year. We're going to get this company's name back to where it started.
Michael: Or hopefully higher.
Wayne Jarvis: I didn't say that. Don't hold me to that.
Wayne Jarvis: Well, I'm a professional. I am serious, and I'm a professional.
Michael: That's fantastic. So, how long have you been ...?
Wayne Jarvis: I also don't like small talk.
Wayne Jarvis: I find that unprofessional.
Wayne Jarvis: Why should I be billing you for small talk when I'm enjoying it as much as you are?
Michael: Then, this must be a freebie 'cause I'm having a ball.
Wayne Jarvis: (chuckles) When you're ready to get serious, give me a call.
Tobias: Oh, give me the suit. Give me the suit.
George Michael: I'm actually wearing it right now, but I can't tell you why.
Tobias: You're wearing it right now?
George Michael: I have to wear it all the time. You ... you'd never understand.
Tobias: Oh, please, I'll never un ...? I'll never understand? That you can never be nude? I understand more than you'll ... never know.
George Michael: Yikes.
Maeby: You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you?
George Michael: I've got a really good body, so ... No.
George Michael: (counting pushups) 100.
Maeby: 100? I had you at ten.
George Michael: I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total.
Michael: I love Marta.
Lindsay: Mom's housekeeper?
Michael: Gob's girlfriend.
Tobias: Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?
Lindsay: He's a never-nude.
Michael: Is that exactly what it sounds like?
Lindsay: She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working.
Michael: So, how's it going with you and Tobias?
Lindsay: It's not working.
Michael: You gotta remember. Mom typically has nothing in her system except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill.
Lindsay: Yeah. So did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom?
Michael: That doesn't even sound like me. That sounds like Mom. Or Bruce Vilanch. Could be Bruce Vilanch.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Michael: Yeah, it's Michael Bluth for Barry.
Barry: (whispering) I'm not here.
James Alan Spangler: Uh, Barry's not here. Can I give her a message?
Michael: Yeah. Tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time. And I'm not paying for this phone call.
Barry: I am not a girl, you ...
James Alan Spangler: Go on. Call me something. I'm redoing my kitchen.
Buster: Look, I don't want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You're going to love it. You just can't do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it.
Gob: Well, if it isn't the boy who lives under the stairs.
Michael: Hey, Gob.
Marta: Te quiero.
Gob: English, please.
Marta: I love you.
Gob: Great. Now I'm late.
Lindsay: Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me.
Lucille: Well, maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money to someone who calls his "stay-in-bed-mom..."
Lindsay: He said that about me?
Lucille: I know it was harsh, but, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. A stay-in-bed mom. Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. Oh ... his words.
Lucille: Lupe, there are some juice glasses on the sofa table.
Lindsay: Oh, Mama, I'll help you clean up. (to Lupe) There are some salad plates on the piano.
Lindsay: Maeby, where have you been?
Maeby: You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right?
Tobias: Uh, yes. Uh, of course we remember, and we were worried sick, young lady. She's fine. Our daughter is all right.
Narrator: Wayne Jarvis had become famous after an employment discrimination suit against the family's current attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn.
James Alan Spangler: It'll be a long time before Barry Zuckerkorn calls anyone a "homo" again.
Lucille: Barry's very good.
Lindsay: He's an idiot.
Tobias: I would be happy to play Adam. Uh, I'd prefer a speaking part.
Lindsay: Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting.
Buster: I don't really want to be Adam this year.
Barry: Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. That was wrong. I-I am so sorry. It's just that I have one down at the office now, and I mean it is every day.
Barry: I do have some big news. It's going to cost you a little money. $20,000. Something like that. The courts have agreed to let your father ... out of prison.
Lucille: This is a lawyer.
Buster: He's a master.
Barry: For the entire afternoon.
Narrator: (referring to Michael) He was, however, getting along with his sister, which was unwelcome news to their mother who feared this unity might be used against her.
Barry: Anything else to go over?
Michael: We've got everything else to go over. We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail.
Barry: How long was I on the phone?
Michael: 25 minutes.
Barry: Well, you know, with the cell phone charges, I could have rounded it out to about an hour 'cause it's easier to bill. All right.
(The audience notices God (George Sr.) is missing from the living painting)
First Woman in Audience: Where is God?
Second Woman in Audience: There is no God.
Barry: Are all the guys in here ... you know?
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Gob: Michael, I'm on to you! The Spanish lessons, the lawyer... If you're heading for Portugal it's due south.
Narrator: Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket. But Gob did...
Narrator: ...Which confirmed his suspicions.
Gob: Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh Mikey?
Maeby: Ok. So, I printed the fake airline ticket from my computer. If my parents miss this, I really might go to South America.
George Michael: That says Portugal.
Maeby: That's right.
Barry Zuckerkorn: (to Lucille) What are you doing? Pilates? Because no forty year-old woman should look like that.
Michael: Well, no forty year-old woman does look like that.
Lucille: Oh, what'd she do, get you drunk?
Michael: No, we just, uh, well ... We—we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, 'He will if I get him drunk'. Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh ... Her words.
John Michael Higgins (Wayne Jarvis) received the "With" credit.
Henry Winkler (Barry) received the "And" credit.
Guest star Henry Winkler was Executive Producer/Narrator Ron Howard's co-star on Happy Days. Ron Howard also directed the movie The Night Shift, which starred Winkler.
This is the first episode where they did not include the "On the next Arrested Development..." gag at the end of the show.
The episode title "In God We Trust" is on all U.S. money (bills and coins).
Bruce Vilanch is an American comedy writer, known mostly for making wisecracks on "Hollywood Squares" and writing gags for various award shows.
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