Arrested Development

Lindsay: That's the first time we're in the shower since our honeymoon. Tobias: And this time no tears!

Lucille: What the hell was I supposed to do? Michael Moore confronted me in front of the whole country! Michael: First of all, it wasn't Michael Moore, it was a Michael Moore look-alike. And it wasn't in front of the whole country, it was for a bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Lucille: I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out.

Maeby: You know, George Michael, you worry too much. It's Sunday. You're allowed to have a couple of hours off. You don't see me nervous about being on my third Virgin Mary. George Michael: Why would you be nervous? There's no alcohol in a Virgin Mary. Maeby: There isn't? This is unbelievable. (to the waiter) Can I get a Virgin Pina Colada when you get a chance? Now we'll get things started.

Michael: We need to speak to you about getting a divorce for Gob. Barry: Well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? (Smiles and holds up hand for high five) Michael: Actually, she died. Barry: You're kidding me. I've been taking credit for that for years!

Michael: As for Maggie, I didn't even know that she was pregnant when I first saw her. All I could see was her giant chest. Box. She had this ... some people call it a chest, I call it a box. She was holding this giant box.

(In response to Lucille's refusal to believe Buster was going to war) Tobias: You know, Mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I think you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it. Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. Tobias: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.

Tobias: Oh, a pregnancy test. There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? No, we had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science, and money, and just a dash of... (Notices Maeby has entered) Maeby... would... how... how long have you been standing there? Maeby: I just walked in. Tobias: Just walked in! (chuckles) Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb!

Michael: (about Sally) I'm dating her, but I just want to make sure that you're comfortable with that. George Michael: Well, of course! We can double-date. You and Sally, and me and Ann. Michael: Who? George Michael: Wh... Ann? Michael: Ah, yes. Of course I know Ann. I didn't mean "who", I meant, uh, "her".