George Michael: Well, I think we're okay. Michael: We are. I mean, you know that there's nothing that you can't be totally honest with me about. I mean, you could say anything to me, you know? Anything at all. George Michael: Like, say I had a crush on my own cousin. Michael: Hey! You just taught me a lesson. All right, we're even.
Drug Dealer: You set us up! Gob: No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are!
Buster: It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick. Gob: Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.
George Michael: But it wasn't for me. Michael: Then who was it for? Who? Give me a name. George Michael: Okay, it was for me. Yeah. I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.
Gob: Now, we wait. George Michael: How long? Gob: Who knows? An hour ... maybe five. Derek: Drug delivery. You wanted some marijuana?
Gob: George Michael. You weren't followed, were you? George Michael: No, I don't think so. Gob: All right, kid ... let's deal some drugs.
Buster: I really appreciate you doing this for me. You're making a very miserable person happy. George Michael: She really feels awful, huh? Buster: Oh, I was talking about me. But yeah, she's a mess. Be careful.
Lindsay: I see. Fine. I was going to take her out for ice cream, but if you'd rather stay here. Well, that's just fine with me. Maeby: Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right? Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
George, Sr.: What time is it? Oh, almost sundown. I have to prepare for the Sabbath. Michael: It's Tuesday. George, Sr.: Shh.
George, Sr.: Tonight? No, it's Yontif, the first night of Yom Kippur. Michael: Dad, that's just one night, and it's back in September. That's okay. You've only been a Jew for about two days.
Michael: Get that the hell out of this house! What's the matter with you? Gob: Maybe you should save the lectures for your son. If he can remember them.
Michael: Oh, no. This can't be from my son. Gob: Well, it is his handwriting. Plus, he left me $200. $100. 100 -— I accidentally said 200. Michael: This is impossible. Why would he do this? Gob: I know. You know? I was shocked. I mean, really, $100. You can't get good weed for a hundred bucks.
Lucille: Ah, yes. The week we had the au pair. You know, your mother always wanted this broach. Maeby: Really? Lucille: Do you want it? Maeby: I do now. That'll show her for trying to punish me.
Michael: Find something to do. Go make mistakes. Get in trouble. Be young.
George Michael: Oh, yeah. Dad told me to take the day off so I decided to come in to work.
George Michael: Yeah. But if I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work, like you always say.
Maeby: Are you serious? What could you possibly come up with that would punish me? Lindsay: Oh, I have to come up with another thing?
Lindsay: You are now punished. I punish thee.
Lindsay: Okay, look. I know you got a crocodile in spelling, but this has gone too far.
Lindsay: I'm not signing this. Maeby: Fine. I will. Is Lindsay with an "A" or an "E"?
Maeby: D plus. Sign this. Lindsay: This is a D minus. Maeby: Well, either way, it's above a D right? Lucille: Another world beater.
Narrator: Later, Lucille stopped by the model home to enlist her daughter's help cataloging her valuables. Lindsay: I can't. Lucille: Why not? Lindsay: Because I'm ... Don't want to.
Michael: I can't help you, Mom. I've got a job. I've got to make some money so you can buy more things and destroy the evidence. Lucille: You're right. I'll ask Lindsay.
Lucille: I need a favor. Michael: We ought to put that on our family crest.
Gob: I need a favor. Michael: What happened to "Hello. I need a favor"?
Michael: Well, those lessons worked, didn't they? I mean, we still leave notes to this day. Lindsay: Oh, that's what that was about. I thought he was trying to get us off of dairy.
George, Sr.: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?! J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.
Lindsay: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know the kind you put on George Michael, even when he gets an A? Michael: Minus. And an A gets him ice cream. He knows that.
Michael: All I'm saying, Lindsay, is that, you know, you might want to push her a little bit because a kid without discipline can get into some pretty tough stuff. Lindsay: So, you think she's going to suddenly turn to drugs because she got a C plus? Michael: Minus. And yes, I think that without boundaries, a kid can get into trouble, and yeah, sometimes that can mean drugs.
Michael: A minus, huh? George Michael: Proud of me? Michael: Very proud. Minus. Better go hit the books. Get up there.
Michael: You knew the whole time, didn't you? George Michael: Well, sort of. One of the Hot Cops is my choir teacher.
Maeby: "C minus." C m-i-n-e-s. Lindsay: Did you even study? Maeby: No, I didn't. Lindsay: Wow. How impressive is that?
Michael: Your uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you? George Michael: No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.
Lucille: I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.
Maeby: (working with Lucille) This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment. Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
Michael: You mean you taught me a lesson not to teach lessons? George Sr.: It was my last lesson.
Gob: What? Oh, no! It's the cops! Oh! And a ... Construction worker.
Gob: (about the hot cops) These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip. Michael: They're not going to strip, are they? Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.
Lindsay: (about the broach) You know I wanted that. Lucille: I know. But it's an elephant. And I didn't want to invite the comparison.
Michael: I want the guy with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get a hold of him? George Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.
Michael: He's lying to me. Can you believe that? Where the hell is this family's morality? (A puff of smoke suddenly comes out of Gob's mouth) Gob: I don't know. Michael: What? Gob: It's cold out here.
Buster: (about Lucille 2) And her nausea's gotten really bad, too. It's really been difficult on us. It's definitely taking its toll. Michael: Well, you know, you're free to go, pal. It's not like you made a commitment to this woman. Buster: Well, I didn't make a commitment ... I did refer to it as our nausea. But you know, that's when we were going at it really hot and heavy. Michael: Well, now it's my nausea.
Michael: Tell you what. I'm going to give you the cash, but in return, I get to ask you for a favor sometime. Gob: My gut is telling me no. But my gut is also very hungry.
This episode won the 2005 WGA Award (TV) in the "Episodic Comedy" category (tied with the Malcolm In The Middle episode "Ida's Boyfriend").
Tobias does not appear in this episode.
Buster's folder holding his nausea study has a message on the front. "Property of Buster Bluth. If found, please contact Lucille Bluth in California. (She'll pay for the charges)"
Arm amputee J. Walter Weatherman has a dog that is missing a front leg.
According to the Boston Sunshine Academy's Fall Quarter Report Card, math makes Maeby feel like the sun behind a cloud, science makes Maeby feel like Elvis and English makes Maeby feel like a jack-in-the-box. She got a C- in another class, as well.
This is the consensus pick among Arrested Development fans as the best episode of the first season.
Rerun on March 21st as part of FX's Arrested Development marathon.
Lindsay calls Maeby "Megan".
There is no "On the Next Arrested Development..." gag in this episode.
David Cross ("Tobias") does not appear in this episode.
This is the highest rated first season episode.
According to Mitchell Hurwitz, "Pier Pressure" came out of a network note suggesting that Michael should teach his son a nice lesson.
Michael: Your uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you? George Michael: No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. George Michael was a British singer-songwriter. He was half of the pop duo WHAM! and sang hits like Faith as a solo artist.
S 3 : Ep 13
Aired 2/10/06 (22:23)
S 3 : Ep 12
Aired 2/10/06 (22:01)
S 3 : Ep 11
Aired 2/10/06 (21:47)
S 3 : Ep 10
Aired 2/10/06 (21:57)
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