Arrested Development

Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words to see what Michael was referring to. Tobias: (on tape) Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. Tobias: Nothing wrong with that. Tobias: (on tape) Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can. Tobias: It's out of context. Tobias: (on tape) I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak. Narrator: And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks. Tobias: Tobias, you blowhard! (Chuckles)

Lindsay: Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family... Gob: Hey... I'm f(bleep)ing Lucille 2! Lindsay: Ohh.. I could do something like that...

Tobias: I had no idea a ninety year-old man could cave in my chest cavity like that.

George Sr.: You're pimping out your sister? Michael: Well you were pimping out my mother!

Michael: If you had tried and failed, I'd understand, but you didn't even try. Lindsay: So I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.

Lucille: Buster, nice of you to take a break from that common whore you've been dating. Buster: She is not a whore, mother, she happens to be the new secretary of the Bluth company. And yes, she may be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be terrifying.

Michael: It all makes sense. Why else would Sally Sitwell be avoiding me? Lindsay: Because she thinks you're a loser. Gob: And why would Lucille 2 be so distant toward me? Lindsay: Because she knows you're a loser.

Michael: (about the basket) Why don't you take this? I don't have anyone to go with anyway. Tobias: Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? "Where's Tobias?!" "Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth and they're dipping each other in..." Oh, you didn't get anybody chocolate ... Michael: I didn't mean with me. I hate to see you struggle like this. In fact, why don't you let me ask her for you? Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime. Michael: Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing. Tobias: (gasps) Butterscotch! Want a lick?

Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Michael: So what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. George Michael: What's kama sutra oil? Michael: Maybe it's not for us.

Lucille: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the jokes on her because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob. Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.

Michael: You were not on a date with Dragon. Lindsay: I know that, Michael. It was pretty obvious when Dragon kept swooping Uncle Jack in for a kiss.

Tobias: Wait, wait, wait. Lindsay's here? With two men? Buster: Hmmm, sort of one and a half.

Tobias: Do you have any idea how often you say the word 'afraid'? Michael: Well, I know I used it in the jacuzzi. Tobias: And I apologize for that; I thought it was a pool toy.

Tobias: (while looking at a gift intended for Sally) That is quite a basket you've got there, Michael.