Storming the Castle

Season 1, Episode 9, Aired

Trivia

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  • Trivia

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    • Hanging in Raulo's office at the Gothic Castle are oil portraits of magicians Le Mysticicateur Comique, Peitros & Gregorio, and The Quiet Storm.
    • Of the three parties Lindsay and Tobias throw, one is for "No More Meat", another is for "No More Fish" and the third is for "More Meat And Fish (Better School Lunches)".
    • At the end of the episode, Michael takes home a TV from the office, but the one he stares at in his office, and the one he drops from the skateboard when taking it home are different. (In the office, he does not have a flat front, but on the bike, he does).
    • When Tobias goes into the gay club, one of the gay protesters from the boat in the pilot comes walking out, one with a boa and a freedom sign.
    • In the scene where Gob is showing Marta his new trick in front of her children, a boom mic comes into frame briefly.

  • Quotes

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    • Narrator: Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with. And so, he returned to work, accepting the fact that he was a good guy. But not as good as everyone thought.
    • George Michael: It's like you said. You can't change who you are. So what? So, I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what? You know, a leather jacket's not going to change that. You know, I was trying to act like a tough guy, and it's wrong. I'm just a boring, old nice guy like you. Michael: I'm not that nice.
    • Lucille: You know, he's damaged goods. He was born with a hole in his heart. Lucille 2: Listen to me, Lucille. I'm going to fill that hole 'cause we're in love. Lucille: Oh, please. You're no more in love with him than I am. Buster: Okay, we're all saying some things we're going to regret.
    • Lucille: Buster's been humping the widow Austero. Buster: Mom ... George, Sr.: Is that true? Buster: No. We're taking it slow. Lucille: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist? Buster: She already has.
    • Lucille: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head? George, Sr.: This is a ... Well, it's a reminder that the divine presence is always above me.
    • George Michael: Oh, you bought a chair. Michael: Uh, no. Actually, uh, I borrowed it, like we talked about. George Michael: Well, I thought we decided that was like stealing. Michael: Is that where we landed on that?
    • Maeby: Did you get a job or something? Tobias: No. No, I didn't. Unless you consider "world's coolest daddy" a job.
    • Lindsay: This just isn't you. Michael: It's me now. It's the me that can recline. (Michael leans back and falls off his chair) Lindsay: Did that hurt? Michael: No.
    • Gob: You're a good brother, Michael. Lindsay: You're a horrible brother, Michael.
    • Narrator: And so, for the first time, Michael set a plan in motion to take something that didn't belong to him. Michael: You know, I was thinking. I'd like to help you guys out one more time. You know what you should do? You should surprise Gob on stage. I know that he's looking for a new assistant.
    • Lance: May I help you? Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather." Lance: Something that says, "leather daddy"? Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?
    • Tobias: Oh, Maeby, great news. I got my hands on some money. I can't say how or when ... or where my wedding ring is, but my purse overfloweth, as do my high spirits, so a-shopping we must go. Maeby: Dad, we already went.
    • Tobias: You have to be some sort of she-hulk to get this.
    • Michael: Great. Great. You know what, Gob? Marta is a once-in-a-lifetime woman. She's a treasure, and I don't think you're showing her enough respect, okay?
    • Michael: So, Rollo wants your legs, but you're cheating on Marta with those legs. Is that about right? Gob: Would you give me a break, please? The legs are insanely jealous.
    • Michael: Then, why does he want to break your legs? Gob: He doesn't want to break my legs. He wants to take my legs.
    • Michael: I don't know whether this guy's a mobster, a loan shark, something equally scary. Gob: Magician. Michael: I think you're confusing "scary" with "silly." This guy was frightening. He was in a limo.
    • Buster: Mom, you're ruining our fort!
    • Lucille: I'm so glad you're here. I want you to help me break up your brother and his girlfriend. Michael: Well, I'm all for that. We just got to find him first. Lucille: He's locked on the balcony. Michael: Oh, you meant Buster. I thought you were talking about Gob.
    • Rollo: If you care about your brother, you'll get in this car. Michael: Which brother?
    • Tobias: Well, I don't need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going? Maeby: We're going shopping. Tobias: Oh, no, no, I can't do that.
    • Tobias: There's my little girl. I've got great news. Daddy has the entire day off. Maeby: But you have every day off ... You don't have a job.
    • Maeby: Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine. George Michael: So, I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle.
    • Lindsay: You are too nice. Michael: Oh, come on, what was I supposed to do, tell her that Gob is not staying here? Tell her that Gob is screwing around on her, God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.
    • Michael: Well, he hasn't been here. Marta: But he said he was staying here. Oh, my God. Maybe he's staying with another woman. Michael: No, no, no. No, no, no. No, he is staying here. I just haven't seen him here ... the foyer, or the kitchen. Marta: Well, that's a relief.
    • Gob: Real needle, real apple. Real neck. Amable: He's a zombie! Marta: They're children! How could you do that? Gob: Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done.
    • Marta: I was just looking for Gob. Michael: Well, you're his girlfriend. Narrator: Michael wished Marta was his girlfriend, a secret he had only shared with Lindsay. Marta: Actually, we had a big fight. He thought I was belittling his career, but I never would do that. Michael: Neither would I. What career? Marta: The magic? Michael: Oh, the tricks, the little tricks. Those are great.
    • George Michael: What are you doing? Michael: I'm doing a little cost projection analysis for a mini mall. George Michael: Wow, that's pretty cool you know how to do all that stuff. Michael: Yeah, maybe your old man's just a little bit cooler than you thought he was, huh?
    • Cab driver: Where to, mate? Tobias: The Gothic Castle. Cab driver: Gothic a**h*le? Tobias: That's what I said!
    • Rallo: Tell me, where did you get two alliance approved assistants on such short notice? Gob: Oh, no, that was just my girlfriend and my nephew! Rallo: You're back out.
    • Michael: I'm a saint, you know. I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it. Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority. Michael: That is nice, but this time it's not enough.
    • Buster: And I'm going to continue dating, Mom. Michael: It sounds a little bit like dating Mom. Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.
    • Lucille: Oh, don't give me that look. I happen to be a more caring mother than most. Buster: Where's my bed? Lucille: I put it in storage.
    • Lucille: (about Lucille 2) She changed him as a baby! Michael: Ok, that's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard. Buster: That's why she didn't look surprised.
    • Michael: Call me what you want ... Lindsay: An impotent man-boy.
    • Lucille: You're the only one who chose a spouse I liked and she had to die. Michael: I know, that's rough for you.
    • Marta: I can't believe the legs would screw him like this!
    • Michael: Mom, I'm looking for Gob. There's some people after him, and I don't know whether it's gambling or what, but they want to break his legs. Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter!
    • Michael: Since when are you against leather? Maeby: Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian. Lindsay: Well, I'm not against the insides. I mean, people need meat to survive. Michael: You are aware they don't remove it surgically, right?

  • Notes

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  • Allusions

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    • The Magic Castle The Gothic Castle where G.O.B. performs is modeled after the real-life Magic Castle in Hollywood, CA.
    • Tobias: (trying to get the last bit of ice-cream out of a quart) You have to be some sort of She-Hulk to get this ...
      In Marvel Comics, the She-Hulk is the cousin of The Hulk. Tobias' identifying with a strong female hero is another possible hint at his sexuality.

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