Craig: Even if she rides a broomstick, she's still your mother.
Lily: Lucinda has a driver for her broomstick.
Craig: Usually when people reinvent themselves, they do it for the better. Lucinda's always had it back asswards.
Craig: Lucinda has a way of turning one's brain matter into knots.
Craig: (to the Lakeview bartender) I know I'm not a kid anymore, my six pack is more like two, four on a good day.