7 months have passed since we last saw our feuding family. And Alison's gone blonde. There are the usual squabbles over the breakfast table and Alison is shocked to find out that Charlotte had started her period but didn't tell her. Poor old Charlotte is having bother with bullies and the sitch at home isn't making her any happier. David, Sarah and Virginia all appear to be there usual noisy selves. Well, until David gets Virginia to go pick up the cat who has strayed back home from their new mansion and deliver an invite to the housewarming party to Mike and Megan. She goes reluctantly and is pounced upon by Megan who attempts to seduce her. Poor old Virginia seems rather shell-shocked and v confused and bewildered but by the time they get to the bed Megan has realised and thought better of it. They remember other things they should be doing and scuttle off, mumbling uncomfortably. As Virginia leaves Phil catches her and tries to find out about Sarah and the baby.
At home David receives a letter from Alison's solicitor informing him that she has filed for divorce. He rushes out to the office to confront her but she's off opening the girls school from series 1. When she gets back he attempts to brandish the letter at her but has only the empty envelope. The letter is at home being read by Sarah who found it under the table. She tracks down Virginia who is lying in the rather large rockery surrounded by beer cans with pink eyes. She reads the letter but they end up talking about what's wrong with her. Virginia explains what happened, she feels shit and just like her dad cos someone made a pass at her so she's unfaithful. "Someone made a pass at you?" Sarah asks incredulously. "But anyway it's not the same because you're not seeing anyone." Virginia says she is but won't say who. Sarah isn't taking any crap. She suspects that Virginia is being so secretive cos it's a woman and of course she's right. She's been seeing Tamsin for the past 7 months and thinks she's managed to keep it a secret but Sarah points out that everyone knows. She had to kick someone's head in at school for writing 'Virginia Braithwaite yodels in the valley' on a blackboard. Anyway, she likes Tamsin. "Yeah, she's great," says Virginia "Don't know what the hell she sees in me". Only now do they get round to talking about the letter!
David and Alison are also talking about the letter. They talk about it and David's affair in the office, in a cafe and at home with their feet in the pool. Meanwhile Virginia and Sarah went in the Lotus to pick Charlotte up from school and Virginia ends up dragging bullies off of Charlotte by their hair. Sarah refrains, being in a delicate condition. All three retreat to a cafe to discuss tactics re: their mum and dad. After talking a while Alison seems better but then David tries to get fresh with her and she can't cope. In Virginia's room the girls plan to hire a female decoy to test whether or not their dad would have another affair.
The guests start arriving and David bustles about importantly, loving every minute of it! Alison gets dressed and talks to her mum (Audrey). The girls emerge in their party wear, providing my quote of the week (below). Mike and Megan arrive and chat to Alison. When she goes off to see other people they have a mini-row about Mike fawning over her and Megan being too interested in their wealth. Unable to hire these female decoys outside London Sarah and Virginia wonder what to do next when Virginia's eye falls on Megan. Either at this point or just before (can't rightly remember) she is ambushed by Tamsin whom, in lieu of her earlier chat with Sarah, she snogs in full view of all and sundry without a care in the world and Sarah, standing behind them, looks a little peculiar. David welcomes his brother Graham, Graham's wife Helen and their daughter Emily. David gets all squiggly / funny looking as Helen and Graham talk about their other two, one on an exchange in Germany, the other at a posh do / recital type thing that I can't remember the name of. Meanwhile Virginia (with Tamsin for back-up) is propositioning Megan in the shed. The price is set at £2000.
There is a great big fireworks display during which Alison talks with Graham, David's brother, whom she used to date. We learn this from cousin Emily who is at this point smoking and drinking in the bushes with Charlotte. Megan gets David into the shed and attempts to seduce him using almost identical methods and phrases as on Virginia. David reacts almost identically as well - bumbling and confused but ultimately no go. Phil appears at the bottom of the garden to talk to Sarah. She asks him to leave but he insistent - all he wants to know is that she and the baby are alright. They end up kissing but then she gets all upset about it and runs off and he is left frustrated still. The news of Megan's failure reaches Virginia and she complains to Tamsin about the intensity of Megan's assault on her father and the phrase "the silly cow" comes up quite often.
As the party winds down people are strewn all over in various positions of tiredness and/or drunkenness. David and Mike Hartnoll sit on the steps talking but David is getting aggravated by Virginia and Tamsin dancing together, Virginia seemingly quite miserable. So naturally as any loving parent would he storms up and physically tears them apart. "What the hell do you think you look like?" he questions Virginia. So she just tells it like it is, suitably outraged by his behaviour. In response to Alison's earlier suggestions that he remind Virginia that he loves her, David offers "I do love you you know". She replies equally elegantly with "I love you too you bastard". Alison looks on as the scene unfolds not quite as she had intended.
The girls come into Alison's bedroom at the end of the night (or morning, in fact) and reveal the results of their investigations. "You did what?" and "Megan?!" are memorable points. But she is touched by her daughters' concern for her welfare and that of the marriage. But Virginia points out afterwards when the others have left that Alison should do what she wants and that the other two would be able to cope. As she goes back from her room there is a taunt of "Megan, eh?" from Sarah who has figured out who Virginia's mystery seducer is. When David comes to bed Alison tells him that she will get her solicitor to cancel the divorce application.