Babylon 5

Vir: If kisses could kill, that one would have flattened several small towns.

Ivanova: And to tell you the truth ... I hate to say this, but ... I think I really enjoy being a sneak. Sheridan: Then I hereby appoint you "The Official Babylon 5 Sneak In Residence." Ivanova: Oh, thank you. Sheridan: Now get the Hell out of my chair. Ivanova: Yes, sir.

Vir: Back home, nobody cares about dead Narns, only living ones.

Ivanova: Mr. Cotto, you're late. Vir: I'm sorry. I was otherwise engaged. Engaged and married, as it is. Not that I knew about it or anything.. Ivanova: You are not making sense. Vir: I imagine I'm not, but that's the kind of day I'm having.

Vir: When I marry, I want it to be for love. Lyndisty: Ah, a radical!

Londo: And how are things at the royal court? Vir: You know, collusion, politicking, scheming, innuendo, gossip, .... The same old thing. Londo: Good, good, ... and your reports? I assume they went over well. Vir: Yes, sir, very well, ... Londo: Did you tell them I helped with our reports? Vir: No, there was no need to, they noticed it right off.

Delenn: Humans can be a very depressing people. Sheridan: Only if we get turned down for dinner. Delenn: Well, we can't have that, now can we?

Sheridan: I would like to see you tonight. Ivanova: Are you not seeing me now? I would think that you see me every time we meet; unless I have become translucent or ... insubstantial and nobody has stopped to inform me until now.

Londo: Yes, you can help me. Two hours ago. Two hours ago I called you. I told you that there is ... a bug, an insect in my quarters. Maintenance: Well, we've been a little busy. Londo: Now, listen to me. I do not like insects. I do not like little brown things with eight legs. I do not like anything with eight legs. Well, except for the Vinzini, but only because they are terrible at cards. Something to do with compound eyes, I think. I want this thing dead!

Centauri Minister: Oh, I heard a new joke. Hehahaahhh. What is more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns? Vir: Heh, I don't know. What is more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns? Centauri Minister: One angry Narn with a key.

Centauri Minister: The Emperor has just finished reviewing your reports from Minbar. He asked me to convey his compliments on your hard work, even if some parts of it do read as if they were written by Ambassador Mollari. Vir: He advised me on a few things. Centauri Minister: I thought as much. Londo belongs to the old school. He thinks we must be protected from the truth. But these are perilous times. We must have accurate information about what other worlds are doing. You would do well to follow your own judgement in the future.

Vir: There were other women, but I never got past one. Ivanova: You mean first base. Vir: No, no, I mean one. You see, we have six a ... we have six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's naa-naa. Then there's two ... and by the time you get to five it's ... Ivanova: Interrupting Vir, I got it, I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't know what to tell you, Vir. I've never really gotten this whole relationship thing down myself so I'm the last person in the world who should be giving advice on … this sort of thing. All I can say is that enthusiasm, sincerity, genuine compassion, and humor can carry you through any ... lack of ... prior experience with ... high numerical value. Vir: Wow, I'm gonna remember that. Thank you, thank you. Ivanova [mouths as he leaves]: SIX!