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Kelly: You wanted the lead. You got what you wanted.
Chuck: I was humiliated.
Kelly: Oh, then I got what I wanted.
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Chuck: Are you really just being nice?
Kelly: Do you know how sad it is that you just assume everyone is as devious and conniving as you are?
Chuck: I had a rough childhood.
Kelly: In Greenwich, Connecticut?
Chuck: When you never have to ask for anything, you never learn how.
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Chuck: Kelly, can I have a word with you?
Kelly: Yeah, I'm just changing the lead to my bear story. First, I had it too soft, then it was too hard, and now I think it's just right.
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Troy: I'm gonna need some time off for a doctor's appointment.
Ryan: Sure when?
Troy: Tuesday at four.
Ryan: No problem.
Troy: Wednesday at nine. Wednesday at three-fifteen. Thursday at two.
Ryan: Wow, are you okay?
Troy: We'll find out Friday at ten.
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Montana: Troy? is that his name or his hometown? I thought this was supposed to be for his grandson. What happened?
Marsh: I don't have a clue. I said an internship opened up. He said fantastic. I said it starts in an hour. He said no problem. I said it earns college credit. He said I just have to find my pants. In retrospect that may have been a clue.
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Chuck: Look, do you think I play second fiddle to Kelly?
Marsh: Are you kidding? No way, you are the whole show.
Ryan: Okay people, meeting time.
Marsh: We can't start without Kelly.
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Greg: We weren't in town five minutes and we saw you plastered on a bus.
Chuck: Oh so that's how I got home.
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Chuck: You know I started out with Morty. I gave him the money for his first hairpiece. Actually it would've looked more believable if he just put the money on his head.