Actor Don Hamner is miscredited "Hanmer" in the end credits.
Banacek: Did you do what I told you? Drive the limo out from Vegas?
Jay: Well, not exactly. You see, I ran into a little trouble. I mean, I couldn't really get what I needed.
Banacek: You mean, you needed a six and you rolled a seven.
Jay: Yeah. How did you know that?
Banacek: I'm better at guessing then you are at gambling. Did you lose all the money I gave you?
Jay: Oh, now, boss, what do you take me for?
Banacek: Please, don't ask me questions like that.
Joe Daley: Mr. Banacek and I met a couple of years ago when a diamond shipment disappeared out of a cargo plane.
Banacek: Well, not exactly disappeared. X-rays showed that the crew divided them up and swallowed them.
Joe Daley: Well, at least the insurance company didn't have to cough up anything.
Banacek: Still can't resist a straight line.
(Banacek checks into a motel)
Desk Clerk: I guess your friend told you the rules.
Jay: Oh. Well, uh, no. I forgot.
Banacek: What rules?
Desk Clerk: Well, no radio or T.V. playing after ten o'clock at night. And no alcoholic beverages any time. And no women folks in the rooms. Enjoy your stay.
Brooke: By the way, speaking of first class, tell me just how rich are you, Mr. Banacek?
Banacek: If you promise not to tell the ending, I'll let you read my bank book.
Brooke: Thanks, I'll wait for the movie.
Lou: Well, what have you found out about my airplane?
Banacek: It's still missing.
Lou: You're going to have to do better than that.
Banacek: I expect to.
Jay: How come we're going back to that motel? The TV reception is lousy--lousy. The ice machine don't' work, and--and that cleaning girl is an ice machine.
Felix: Must you always call without warning?
Banacek: Well, next time I'll call you and tell you I'm going to tell.
Felix: Oh, really, dear boy, this is no time for your insufferable logic.
Brooke: It's going to be tough for you to sleep. You could hear a pin drop in my room.
Banacek: There must be a pin here somewhere.
Brooke: I'm sure there's one in my room.
Banacek: The one you used to see how quiet it was.
Brooke: Okay, come back with me and I'll prove it.
Banacek: Prove what?
Brooke: We'll think of something.
Jay: Boss, it says, "Private: Keep Out."
Banacek: Did you ever see one that said, "Private, Come In"?
Banacek: There is an old Polish proverb that says... "when the wolf is chasing your sleigh, throw him a raisin cookie but don't stop to bake a cake."
Jay: I hope that means we're going to get the heck out of here before that thing comes back.
Banacek: Funny, you don't look Polish.
Banacek: There is an old Polish proverb that says...
Woman: "Better safe than sorry"?
Banacek: Well, it's close. But the Polish version is... "a truly wise man never plays leap frog with an unicorn."
Brooke: Best thing I've seen is a farm report and a rerun of Circus Boy.
Referencing the 1956-1958 CBS series about a young boy, Corky, who works at the circus where his parents were killed in a trapeze accident.