Barney Miller
ABC (ended 1982)
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Season 8
- Ep 22Landmark (3)5/20/82
Friends, foes and felons alike drop by to pay their last respects as the detectives prepare to leave for new assignments; Harris contemplates his resignation when he's assigned to Flushing Meadows; Barney recalls friends departed before he turns out the squad room lights for the last time. - Ep 21Landmark (2)5/13/82
The 12th Precinct is sold; Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school; Luger tries to duck out on his mail-order bride. - Ep 20Landmark (1)5/6/82
Wojo's discovery of an ancient weapon puts the 12th Precinct up for sale. - Ep 19Bones4/29/82
A museum presses charges when an Indian retrieves his tribe's ancestral bones from an exhibit; a scoutmaster catches a mugger. - Ep 18Altercation4/9/82
Harris and Arnold come to blows; a mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five year old crush on Barney. - Ep 17Old Love4/2/82
Dietrich's old flame pays a visit; a former child actor clubs an agent with a telephone. - Ep 16Inquiry3/26/82
Internal Affairs is called in when a charge of excessive force is leveled against Wojo; an angry parent takes action when his child is declined admission into an exclusive kindergarten. - Ep 15Obituary3/11/82
A newspaper obituary causes a stir when the subject turns up alive; the detectives snag a modern-day chicken thief. - Ep 14Arrival2/25/82
Luger's mail-order bride arrives; an elderly woman mugs a man. - Ep 13Hunger Strike2/18/82
Dietrich aids an elderly psychiatric patient who may be speaking a foreign language; a nuclear activist goes on a hunger strike to end nuclear arms; Barney declines a deputy inspector nomination. - Ep 12Chinatown (2)2/11/82
Unless he confesses soon, Harris and Dietrich's unwilling roommate may witness another murder. Meanwhile, harassment charges are pressed against Lieutenant Scanlon. - Ep 11Chinatown (1)2/4/82
A murder witness is uncooperative, so he, Harris and Dietrich are forced to share an apartment in seclusion until he talks; Lieutenant Scanlon falls for a wealthy mugging victim. - Ep 10The Clown1/21/82
Street clowns fall prey to a serial mugger; a hundred inmates are sneaked out of holding in the middle of the night. - Ep 9Examination Day1/14/82
The detectives don uniforms while Levitt and the others take sergeant's exams; Luger, working with the squad, is overly rough with a collar, and later with Barney. - Ep 8The Tontine1/7/82
The penultimate survivor of a tontine attempts suicide in order to concede the money to his cousin. - Ep 7Homeless12/17/81
The 12th is overrun with homeless vagrants on Christmas; a greeting-card writer snaps; a cattle prod is the weapon of choice for a local merchant. - Ep 6Games12/10/81
A manufacturer of computer game processors is accused of espionage; a WAC supplements her income on the street. - Ep 5Stress Analyzer11/26/81
A job fair brings out the worst in a Peace Corps recruiter; Dietrich volunteers for a department stress experiment. - Ep 4Possession11/19/81
A husband is assaulted for forcing his wife into designer jeans; a disorderly conduct report leads to a man who swears he's possessed by an evil spirit. - Ep 3The Car11/12/81
A car thief's conscience gets the better of him ... after twenty-five years; Levitt saves a child from a precarious fate; an overzealous sanitation officer goes to extremes. - Ep 2Advancement11/5/81
Luger wants Barney to pen a letter for his mail-order bride; a lottery winner seeks revenge when the ticket seller loses his winning entry; Harris gets a new book deal. - Ep 1Paternity10/29/81
Wojo's proven innocent of a paternity suit, but at a cost; a beauty queen is robbed; an irate theater patron vandalizes the theater.
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Season 7
- Ep 22Liquidation5/21/81
Harris is forced to liquidate his possessions to pay off his lawsuit. - Ep 21The Rainmaker5/14/81
The officers arrest a rainmaker, only discover that he was hired by the drought-ridden city; Wojo, Harris and Dietrich each consider a job opening in vice. - Ep 20The Vests5/7/81
The detectives are reluctant to wear their new bulletproof vests; Luger interviews them in case of the need for a quick obituary. - Ep 19Riot4/30/81
Luger takes a small disturbance with the Hassidic community and turns it into a full-scale riot; the squad discovers a survivalist couple setting up housekeeping in the sewers. - Ep 18Lady and the Bomb4/9/81
The verdict is in on the Harris/Ripner libel suit; a woman threatens to blow up the squad room with a homemade bomb; Detective Fish visits the 12th precinct - Ep 17The Doll3/26/81
An expensive doll is abducted for ransom; a man claims he was swindled in exchange for a ticket on the space shuttle; Luger informs Barney that he's in his will. - Ep 16Contempt (2)3/19/81
When Barney spends the night in jail, the squad room is left in the natty hands of Sergeant Harris. - Ep 15Contempt (1)3/12/81
A restaurant may have refused a man service because of his appearance; Barney won't name an informant so he's charged with contempt of court. - Ep 14Rachel2/26/81
Ripner is suing Harris over the lawyer's portrayal in the detective's novel; Wojo asks Barney's daughter out on a date; a sporting-goods storeowner takes the law in his own hands. - Ep 13The Librarian2/19/81
A serious tone pervades this episode about a gypsy and his harassment of the owner of a novelty store; on the lighter side, a librarian takes extreme measures to ensure quiet amongst the stacks. - Ep 12Stormy Weather2/12/81
A deaf woman is arrested for prostitution; Barney anxiously awaits news of Wojo, who dived into the Hudson River in pursuit of a looter. - Ep 11The Psychic2/5/81
An accused mugger claims that he was answering a psychic vision; a language professor takes vandalistic umbrage to a grammatically incorrect billboard. - Ep 10Movie (2)1/29/81
A blind mugging victim and an overzealous charity collector are among the disparate audience members at the screening of Harris' overbudget film. - Ep 9Movie (1)1/22/81
Harris is assigned to direct a pornographic movie; an old-time radio newsman assaults a vacuous television anchor. - Ep 8Field Associate1/15/81
Someone is sending specific information on transgressions of the men to Internal Affairs; Harris sets up a reunion between an elderly cat burglar and the wife who reported him missing years ago. - Ep 7Resignation1/8/81
Dietrich, stricken with guilt when he shoots a felon, tenders his resignation; a playwright assaults an incompetent actor. - Ep 6Call Girl12/18/80
Dorsey takes a protective stance to a young prostitute; Harris is getting stock tips from another one; and Dietrich is tempted by all of them as he experiments with celibacy. - Ep 5Agent Orange12/11/80
Another domestic dispute at the Brauer household occurs when their apartment building becomes "clothing optional"; Wojo takes a personal interest in the plight of a fellow vet whose crime spree may be a result of the Agent Orange chemical. - Ep 4Dorsey11/27/80
The new detective is convinced that his compatriots are on the take and asks to be dealt out. - Ep 3The Delegate11/13/80
A drunk and disorderly turns out to be a delegate from the 1976 Democratic convention; Barney discovers a problem with the newly assigned Officer Nash - he's not a cop. - Ep 2Homicide (2)11/6/80
Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer, while Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target; Barney's frustration boils over when the new homicide-only edict results in the death of an old friend. - Ep 1Homicide (1)10/30/80
When the NYPD restructures its precincts as specialty squads, Luger pulls some strings and gets the 12th assigned as a homicide squad. Business is good; a man murders his barber, and a woman hires a hit man to kill her husband, and then changes her mind.
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Season 6
- Ep 22Fog5/8/80
Barney is down in the dumps when he is passed over again for deputy inspector. - Ep 21The Inventor5/1/80
The squad tries hypnosis to uncover the name of a felon that Wojo has forgotten; an inventor steals the plans for his own creation. - Ep 20The Architect3/27/80
A disgruntled architect decides to improve on his building—by blowing it up. - Ep 19Dietrich's Arrest (2)3/6/80
Harris gets the unenviable task of booking his colleague Dietrich, whose arrest prompts a visit from Internal Affairs; meanwhile, a nuclear engineer is brought in for dousing the participants with atomic water. - Ep 18Dietrich's Arrest (1)2/28/80
A lottery winner dispenses of the prize money by tossing it out a window; Sgt. Dietrich is arrested for his off-duty participation at an anti-nuclear rally; Barney discovers he can't afford his condo-converted apartment. - Ep 17Uniform Days2/7/80
The cops observe the annual department-mandated ritual of wearing their uniforms - except for Harris who shows up in his usual natty street clothes. - Ep 16Guns1/31/80
Wojo fears that a despondent Luger is planning to do himself in; a man seeking to reclaim his television set robs the police vault; a rash of bizarre robberies leads to an eccentric gun collector. - Ep 15The Child Stealers1/24/80
A self-proclaimed time traveler tells Harris to fine tune his stock portfolio; Marty's divorced gentleman friend Mr. Driscoll attempts to reclaim his son by abducting him from the playground. - Ep 14Vanished (2)1/17/80
Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire. - Ep 13Vanished (1)1/10/80
Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo. - Ep 12People's Court1/3/80
Weary of an uncooperative populace, a census taker goes to drastic measures to make a head count; beleaguered apartment dwellers band together and capture a burglar. - Ep 11The Dentist12/27/79
One man's hands are a musical instrument to himself and a nuisance to others; a detective goes undercover to trap a dentist with wandering instruments. - Ep 10The DNA Story12/13/79
The detectives search for a missing viral strain stolen from a lab; a woman is convinced that her husband is actually a clone. - Ep 9The Judge12/6/79
A judge provides an attorney with the ultimate over-ruling—a gavel on the noggin; the crimes reported by a lonely woman emanate from daytime television soap operas. - Ep 8The Desk11/22/79
A former master criminal becomes a walking zombie following his lobotomy; a man is unable to use the telephone after being mugged because he's Amish. - Ep 7The Bird11/8/79
Harris' book publication hits a snag when Dietrich refuses to sign a release; a suicide hot line operator becomes suicidal; the clerk that sold Wojo a sick bird changes his strict no-return policy when he learns that the detective is a cop. - Ep 6Strip Joint11/1/79
A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; and man is convinced that he is on the verge of spontaneous combustion. - Ep 5The Slave10/18/79
Harris bristles when he learns that the Burmese chauffeur being booked for a traffic accident is actually an indentured servant. - Ep 4The Brother10/4/79
A visiting monk opts for a quick dalliance with a lady of the streets; Barney discovers to his horror that Dietrich may not be cut out for mugging detail—especially since it must be done in drag. - Ep 3Vacation9/27/79
A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop, but the detectives are preoccupied with Barney's posted vacation schedules and the case of a man who won't donate a kidney to his ailing brother. - Ep 2The Photographer9/20/79
A tranquil prisoner claims to be Jesus Christ, which is timely for the drug dealer caught with an impressive stash; an elderly mugger poses as a photographer to ensnare lonely women. - Ep 1Inquisition9/13/79
When an anonymous letter identifies a member of the 12th Precinct as a homosexual, it buys the boys a visit from Lieutenant Scanlon, who proceeds to make a witch hunt out of his search for the author. Meanwhile, a disgruntled shopper takes a fire axe to an elevator's MUZAK machine.
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Season 5
- Ep 24Jack Soo, a Retrospective5/17/79
The cast step out of character to offer a tribute to Jack Soo, who died during the show's fifth season. - Ep 23Graveyard Shift5/10/79
Barney and his crew face the late shift with a bomb threat, a man who believes that he is being frequented by a succubus and an irate tourist. - Ep 22Computer Crime3/15/79
A computer firm has difficulty retrieving embezzled funds; an educated young man claims to be under the influence of a voodoo curse. - Ep 21Identity3/1/79
Harris quickly regrets the fact that Dietrich has saved his life; the 12th is asked to assist a thief who has been granted entry into a witness-relocation program. - Ep 20Open House2/15/79
The 12th Precinct hosts an open house, attracting only vagrants; Barney's joy at moving back home is cut short by the hotel manager that refuses to refund him his upcoming month's rent; Wojo and Harris try to get a lead on an arsonist. - Ep 19The Counterfeiter2/8/79
Harris milks a wily counterfeiter for his life story; a man takes exception to a plastic surgeon's work on his wife. - Ep 18Middle Age2/1/79
Barney feels the onrush of Father Time; Dietrich books an Olympic hopeful who practices his javelin toss in Central Park; a Hassidic Jew is the target of a diamond thief. - Ep 17Wojo's Girl (2)1/25/79
Wojo struggles to co-habitate with his ex-prostitute girlfriend. - Ep 16Wojo's Girl (1)1/25/79
Wojo decides to move in with his girlfriend; Mr. Brauer tells his wife that he's leaving to become a mercenary. - Ep 15The Spy1/18/79
A paranoid spy holds the precinct house at bay; the men bring in a disorderly mime. - Ep 14Voice Analyzer1/11/79
Lieutenant Scanlon returns, this time attempting to ferret out corruption with a lie detector; Barney is suspicious of a furrier's robbery report. - Ep 13The Indian1/4/79
A woman has her shoes stolen - from her feet; Wojo is forced to arrest an aging Indian who only wants to die in the park. - Ep 12Toys12/14/78
Feuding toy makers create a disturbance; Barney faces his first holiday as a separated man; a claustrophobic prisoner has an understandable problem with the cage. - Ep 11The Radical12/7/78
Luger faces off against a '60s radical, and Harris arrests a portly second story man. - Ep 10The Harris Incident11/30/78
A stockbroker leaves Wall Street to become a beggar; a rookie cop, assuming Harris to be a felon, shoots at him - Ep 9The Vandal11/9/78
Barney has the uneasy feeling that it may have been Levitt that vandalized the precinct squad room; a TV programming executive is assaulted in a coffee shop - Ep 8Loan Shark11/2/78
Barney notes some uncharacteristic behavior from Yemana; a client can't get a tattoo artist to remove his work; Harris books a youthful loan shark - Ep 7The Prisoner10/19/78
A released prisoner can't adjust to civilian life; the widow of a cat burglar elects to perpetuate the family business - Ep 6Accusation10/12/78
An accusation of an indiscretion on the part of Dietrich leads to a visit from the gleeful Lieutenant Scanlon of Internal Affairs; Yemana books a rabbi who is running a gambling casino in his synagogue - Ep 5The Baby Broker10/5/78
A German girl attempts to flee the country rather than surrender her baby to a broker's clients; Levitt turns to stimulants to aid in his self-imposed thirty-six hour shift. - Ep 4Dog Days9/28/78
The German Shepherd that bit Wojo may be rabid; Barney and Liz prepare for their impending separation - Ep 3The Search9/21/78
Off goes the moustache, as it's Harris' turn for cross-dressing mugging detail; the host of a kids' science show goes off the deep end; Barney's men reopen a twenty-eight year old missing persons case - Ep 2Kidnapping (2)9/14/78
Wojo delivers the ransom money for the department store owner, while the prostitute charms both Wojo and the victim's nebbish son. - Ep 1Kidnapping (1)9/14/78
A political activist abducts a department store magnate; Wojo arrests a prostitute and her Arkansan business manager.
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Season 4
- Ep 23Inauguration5/18/78
Harris does some extensive soul searching when he's offered a job on the mayor's security team. - Ep 22The Sighting5/11/78
A man liquidates all of his assets into gold, much to his wife's dismay; Wojo claims he saw a UFO over Staten Island. - Ep 21Evaluation5/4/78
The members of the squad nervously await Barney filling out their evaluation forms. Meanwhile, Harris arrests a numerologist who will only give his name as "1223," and a porno shop reporting vandalism turns out to be a mom and pop operation being hassled by their kids. - Ep 20The Hostage3/23/78
Harris finally finds an apartment in the Village; a ventriloquist insists he's not responsible for his dummy's insensitive remarks; a prisoner holds the boys at gunpoint. - Ep 19Quo Vadis?3/2/78
Barney uncovers, if you will, the real reason behind a woman's vehement insistence that a nude-painting exhibit at a local art gallery be shut down; the Millers may be heading for divorce. - Ep 18Wojo's Problem2/23/78
Wojo comes to Barney with a problem his superior would rather not know about; the 12th's new female detective has a very jealous husband, suspicious of her all-male co-workers; somehow a shoplifter escapes - in a wheelchair. - Ep 17Eviction (2)2/9/78
The hotel situation now involves a SWAT team, while Dietrich learns the identity of his amnesic "girlfriend." - Ep 16Eviction (1)2/2/78
Barney puts his career on the line by refusing to forcibly evict the tenants of a condemned hotel, while Luger tries to figure out what to do with his vacation time. - Ep 15Rape1/26/78
- Ep 15The Rape1/26/78
The city legalizes off-track gambling, to the delight of Yemana; a woman wants her husband arrested on a rape charge; a master of disguise perpetuates a crime spree. - Ep 14Appendicitis1/19/78
Yemana is hospitalized with appendicitis; the cage is a stopping-off place for a sugar addict and an aging bounty hunter. - Ep 13The Ghost1/12/78
The detectives are unimpressed with a man who claims he's being visited by a poltergeist - that is, until they lock the man up and strange events begin occurring about the squad room. - Ep 12The Bank1/5/78
A man charges a sperm bank with murder after the lab unwittingly destroys the man's last sample. - Ep 11Atomic Bomb12/15/77
Neither the bomb squad nor the government recognizes a college student's physics project as a functional atomic bomb - but Detective Dietrich does. - Ep 10The Tunnel12/1/77
Wojo is buried alive after a tunnel collapses on a burglar burrowing towards the diamond exchange; a homeless Harris is combing Manhattan for a new apartment. - Ep 9Thanksgiving Story11/24/77
The detectives clean up after three mental patients sit down to Thanksgiving dinner at an automat. - Ep 8Chase11/17/77
A taxi company is irate when Wojo totals a borrowed cab while pursuing a robbery suspect; Lieutenant Scanlon tries to ferret out 12th Precinct corruption with a drug pusher. - Ep 7Blizzard11/3/77
A blizzard holes up the 12th with an unwelcome guest—a corpse; a self-proclaimed prophet is sure that the weather is indicative of a new ice age. - Ep 6Copy Cat10/27/77
Yemana scours TV Guide to try to second-guess the felon who's aping the prime-time lineup crime shows; a drunk forgets the most important element in a hold-up: a weapon. - Ep 5Burial10/20/77
Retired Sergeant Fish returns to assist Barney in locating a pilfered corpse. - Ep 4Corporation10/6/77
A quixotic environmentalist faces the high-priced lawyer hired by the chemical plant he's been assaulting. Meanwhile, Wojciehowicz brings in a homeless woman who has been assaulted. - Ep 3Bugs9/29/77
Listening devices discovered in the squad room may have come from Internal Affairs - or the Nixon administration! - Ep 2Goodbye, Mr. Fish (2)9/22/77
Fish finally shows up for work, but refuses to acknowledge his mandatory retirement. - Ep 1Goodbye, Mr. Fish (1)9/15/77
A neighborhood vigilante group runs amok, and Fish is AWOL on the day of his retirement.
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Season 3
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Season 2
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Season 1
