Barney Miller

Fish: Look, you can't stop the years from passing by. There comes a time when changes have to be made. Someone younger and stronger comes along to fill your shoes and a person has to gracefully step aside. Well, I'm not willing to do that. The way I figure, I'm worth more on restricted duty than all of you put together on full time. Good night, gentlemen.

Biff: I just want to talk to Miss Fish about why I'm giving up her sex education course. Dietrich: Too much homework? Biff: No, I'm just losing interest in everything else.

Dietrich: I thought about being an actor though. In college I was Nick the bartender in The Time of Your Life. You know the play? Biff: Yeah. William Saroyan. Dietrich: That's right. Well, anyway it was opening night, it was a rainy night and hardly anybody showed up. So around like the second act everybody got bored and a couple years later I became a cop.

Bernice: [Fish] went to the park. He always goes there when he quits. He feeds the pigeons. Dietrich: I can't imagine him feeding pigeons. Bernice: Well, actually he buys day old bread and throws it at them.