Barney Miller

Season 2 Episode 12


Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Dec 04, 1975 on ABC

Episode Recap

Barney is told by a police doctor that Fish must take restricted duty because of all his ailments. He comes in having ate Doctor's Bran cereal and feels great. Barney announces that the 33rd precinct has closed because of budget cuts. Half of their men have been laid off and half reassigned. He says that one of them will be coming to the 1-2, an Arthur Dietrich. Fish says it may be the same guy he went to police academy with. However, when he comes in, he is much younger than most of them, especially Fish, expects. Barney tells Fish to teach him everything he knows. Yemana asks him how many were laid off; he says 26 uniformed officers and 9 detectives. Fish asks him how many older, better cops. Dietrich says that they lost some older cops, and some better ones too. When Barney tells Fish he is supposed to go on restricted duty, he takes it as an insult. Barney says he has earned the right to relax and that someone like Dietrich can take up the slack if he decides to go on leave. Wojo shows Dietrich around the squadroom. Barney tells Dietrich to look into apartment house burglaries in the neighborhood with Fish, but instead he decides to go home. His wife, Bernice, thinks he is home for lunch. She asks why because he has only been home for lunch three times since FDR died. He asks what time Beverly, their daughter, will be home. She asks why and he says he's making conversation and they will have more time for that. Beverly comes in only wearing one shoe, saying that if anyone calls, to take a message, except for someone named Howard; she tells them to 'say something filthy, then hang up.' She says that wearing one shoe keeps her hips level and helps her back. Dietrich comes in trying to get Fish to come back to work. He insists he isn't done yet. Dietrich congratulates him on his restricted duty, saying he deserves it. Fish gets his coat and hat, but says he quits and leaves. Later, Dietrich calls Barney and tells them what happened. He asks Bernice where he would go. Bernice tells him that he would go to the park and feed pigeons, which means he would take day-old bread and throw it at them. Someone else rings the doorbell. Beverly says it's Howard and to not answer it. Dietrich offers to get rid of him; she tells him to say go away in a masculine voice. He does it and Bernice says he sounds like Gregory Peck. But it isn't Howard, it's Biff Woltman, a student in the sex education classes Beverly teaches. He says she wanted to see him after class. She says she meant at school and he says he wanted to make it easier for her. He also compliments Dietrich on his voice. He says that he wanted to be an actor but after being in a play no one came to, he decided to be a cop. Biff says he wanted to tell Beverly that he is giving up her class. Dietrich asks if he had yoo much honework; Biff says he isn't interested in anything else. Howard then calls, Beverly takes the call and tells Howard he's angry at him for not telling her he was married. She goes into the kitchen to continue the call and Dietrich holds the phone. Fish comes back and both he and Bernice say they never liked Howard. Bernice tells Fish she supports him 100%; Fish says not to start with him. Beverly comes out and tells Biff to go back to school. She also says she can put her shoe back on. Bernice says she thinks Fish will quit. Dietrich offers to talk to him and Bernice agrees since he's only known him for a day. Fish throws his bread out the window at the birds. Dietrich says they won't lay Fish off with his record. He says he wants Fish's record because he needs the job and thought Fish could help him. Beverly leaves and Dietrich offers to call her. She says Howard doesn't mean anything to her and it's Biff he has to worry about. Fish and Dietrich then leave. Back at the squad room, Barney gives the men their assignments for the next day, saying that Dietrich will alternate with them during the week. Wojo says he thought Dietrich would be working with Fish. Barney tells them that Fish may be taking terminal leave. Just then, Fish and Dietrich return. The other detectives tell Fish they were honored to work with him; he asks who put his medical file on the bulletin board. Barney tells him he told them about his taking terminal leave. Fish says he can't stop time, that changes must be made and a person has to gracefully step aside when someone younger and stronger comes along. But he won't do that because 'I'm worth more on restricted duty than all of you put together on full time.' Later, Dietrich is trying to finish a report before he goes home but the typewriter he is using doesn't have the letter 'O'. Barney tells him that he has to use the 'Q' and erase the tails; Dietrich says he was going to fill in the 'C's. Barney tells him he will see him in the morning. Dietrich tries to finish, but the 'H' breaks off.