Barney Miller

Season 1 Episode 13

The Hero

0
Aired Thursday 8:00 PM May 01, 1975 on ABC

Episode Recap

Prologue: Barney asks Yemana where the office supply voucher forms are. Nick says they may be under 'o,' 's', 'v,' or m' for miscellaneous and if he can't find them in those places, they are lost. Barney suggests looking under 'L.'Fish takes a call from a woman named Mona, a police groupie. When he goes to his desk, he limps. He tells Barney it's because of gout. Fish givesMona a number to call and when Barney says that it's the fire department number, Fish says, 'She's in heat, isn't she?'Yemana asks if they have any magazines around since the Police Athletic League took them all. Barney gives him an FBI file to read. Yemana says it isn't the same and goes into the bathroom with the file. Chano comes in and says that he doesn't know how the day is going to go. He says that last night his fortune cookie said it would be bad, but his horoscope said it would be good, so he asks, 'Who are you gonna believe? A Chinese baker or the New York Times?' Just after, Barney takes a call from dispatch about a bank robbery in progress. Chano says, 'Chinese baker, every time!' Barney tries to get Yemana out of the bathroom but he says that he can't help them. Fish then volunteers to go and when Barney asks about his gout, Fish says, 'The hell with my foot. I got my savings accountin that bank!'

Part One: Harris and Wojo come in with a pimp named Mayflower. The pimp asks when it was against the law to help a woman in distress and Harris tells him when he pushes the woman's trick out a second-story window. Yemana then comes out of the bathroom and says reading the file isn't the same. Barney then takes a call from Liz, saying that she's downstairs after making a citizen's arrest of a young boy who tried to hold her up. She brings in a young black boy named Truman. Liz says that while visiting a friend, she got on an elevator, then he got on, pointed stick at her and said it was a hold up. Truman claims that Liz took his stick and robbed him. Barney tells Harris to book the boy and Truman says he's not a brother.Liz asks Barney what they are going to do to Truman and Barney says that if she doesn't trust him, then take the boy to another precinct. Harris asks Truman where his parents are and he says that he doesn't have parents, that he lives with his grandparents. Truman asks if he's going to prison and Harris says he has to. He tells Truman that he's going to see Judge Meany, the 'hanging judge.' He says that the last little boy who did a hold up got 18 years, 'and that was from Judge Goody. 'Truman asks for him and Harris says that he's sick. Harris then puts Truman in the cage. Mayflower comes back from getting his mug shot and prints, sees Truman and says they finally got 'Mr. Big.' Harris and Barney ask Mayflower to play along and he will get consideration from the district attorney. Chano then comes in talking fast and acting very shaky. He keeps talking about people not understanding things. Barney asks Fish what happened. Fish says that two armed men had hostages in the bank and it could have gone on a long time if someone didn't get inside. Fish said that Chano did and killed both gunmen. Chano types up a report on it, then goes to get some coffee. He says it's bad and laments not being able to make a good cup, but he smashes his cup against another one, then goes into the bathroom. Inspector Luger comes in and says he got the word about what happened. When Chano comes out to clean up the table, Luger says he should take the afternoon off. He says that that is what he did when he shot someone, go to Radio City Music Hall and see a movie and the Rocketts. Chano then says he should stay and work. Luger says do what feels right to him, then remeninces about the Rockettes. He then tells Chano he will put him up for a medal for valor. Chano sarcastically says that he should go to Radio City, pick up a couple of Rockettes, and get some champagne. He then leaves and Luger calls him a credit to all the Puerto Ricans on the force.

Part Two: Wojo asks to leave early totake care of some things; Barney knows he wants to check on Chano and he tells Wojo to let him take care of himself. Harris asks about Truman. He says that he talked with Truman's grandparents and that they would bring him back in a while. Harris says he thinks the kid's had enough. Barney asks him how he's doing, and he says he's hungry. Mayflower(who Truman calls 'Little Richard') says that they will eat when they get to Sing Sing. Truman says that 'the pretty lady' lied about the stick and calls her a witch. Mayflower tells him that everyone lies and they are the only ones telling the truth, which is why they are going to Sing Sing. He asks Barney if he can get out of this and Barney says to tell the truth. He says that Judge Meany told him that if Truman tells the truth, that they can let him go. Truman does and Barney has Harris let him out and take him home. Truman asks Harris if he will tell his grandfather what happened, and when Harris says he has to, Truman cries and says, 'Man, you ain't no brother!' Yemana asks Barney if he ever had to shoot someone; Barney says no and Yemana says he didn't either; that he felt comfortable knowing he could not hit the side of a barn. He says that he saw a cop show the night before and said that he saw cops kill many people and it didn't bother them; Barney says that they didn't have to be there when the lights went up. Later, Chano is at his apartment making a TV dinner. The TV is full of news of the shooting; Chano changes channels and they all are talking about it, even a Japanese channel, so he turns it off. Barney then comes in to see how he's doing. They talk about how he had to shoot the bank robbers or others would die. Barney asks what he did and Chano says he saw a movie...Dirty Harry. After a bit, Barney goes to leave. He tells Chano to take a couple days off. At the door he stops and asks if he ever thought why the sperm whale, the largest mammal in the world, has such a small throat. Chano says yeah, and asks why. Barney says, 'Because that's the way it is. And there ain't anything you can do about it.' He leaves and Chano sits back at the table and starts crying. A couple days later, Barney asks about another report form and Yemana starts in with the letter thing. Luger comes in and tells Barney that some other cop is going to win the Medal of Valor instead of Chano. He says that the cop rescued two kids and a dog from a burning building, but it's obvious that Luger doesn't feel it's the same as what Chano did. He tells Barney to tell Chano not to feel bad, and that he would get 'another shot at it.' He starts to remember his old colleagues in the racket squad, then leaves.

Epilogue: Chano comes back saying that a man can do so much bumming around. He says that he saw seven movies and went to the aquarium, telling Barney he was right about the sperm whale. Wojo shows him the bank's employee newsletter with a big story about the robbery with pictures of him and Fish. Chano tells Wojo to 'file it' and he puts it in the trash. Yemana then picks it up and heads to the bathroom with it.

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