Barney Miller

Season 2 Episode 22

The Mole

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Mar 18, 1976 on ABC

Episode Recap

Nick sees a horse called Barney's Kid in a race and thinks about betting on it. Barney gives Wojo the application for the sergeant's exam. He doesn't want to take it after failing it twice but Barney encourages him. Fish comes in with a small rubber donut he has to sit on. He either has to sit on it or have surgery. Fish is nervous because he has never had any surgery. A call comes in about a fight at a hotel restaurant. Bernice calls about the surgery Fish may get. Wojo asks Fish what he thinks a sergeant should be. He is also amazed that Fish had never had an operation. Harris tells him about a detective at Manhattan South who had the same operation and is a new man. Fish asks him if the detective could sit but Harris says he never saw him do that. Barney, still having trouble with his foot, says he and Fish stick out like sore thumbs; Fish says he'd settle for that. Chano and Nick come in with the people who were fighting in the restaurant. A Dr. Crane says that the other man, a Mr. Schroeder, who works in insurance, spat an olive into his drink. Schroder claims he coughed. When Schroder calls doctors 'hacks and butchers,' Fish gets upset. They still argue as they get processed. Barney says he's ashamed that they had to resort to violence. Wojo gets a call about a jewelry store heist; Barney sends him and Harris. A man comes in spouting some sort of philosophy but he claims to be a bum. Barney greets him but he says he wants to sleep in their cell. Barney says their accommodations are limited but the bum says they do arrest vagrants. Fish gets a call from a hospital about rates for his potential surgery. The rates quoted re-spark the argument from the fight participants. Nick gets a call from dispatch saying that Wojo and Harris are chasing the burglar from the jewelry store into the NYC sewer system. About to go to the restroom, Fish says he should wait, saying that he may be 'obstructing justice.' Later, the bum and the fighters are all placed in the cell. Barney tells the fighters that the hotel would consider dropping their charges if they pay for the cost of the drinks and a barstool that got broken. Both refuse to pay. Fish asks his doctor to do the surgery in his office. Harris comes in, covered in muck and stinking. He says he fell in the sewer in a $200 outfit. Wojo comes in just as stinky with the burglar, Angelo Molinari, nicknamed 'Mole.' Wojo tries to tell Barney what happened, but he says to tell him over the phone, while the other detectives leave: Fish even going to the bathroom downstairs. Barney calls Wojo from his office and he tells him about the collar, while Molinari laments his fate. The fighters are also disgusted while the bum doesn't seem fazed. Barney tells Wojo to throw Molinari in the shower before taking him back to Manhattan South. Chano comes back with several cans of air freshener. Harris gives Barney a requisition form for his outfit. He says that he may not have luck getting his money back. Barney tells him to dress down, but Harris says he can't even get out of his house without dressing up. The fighters settle: They will drop the charges against each other and split the cost of the barstool, and Schroeder will pay for the drinks because he was buying when the fight started. Barney has them released and Wojo brings Molinari back in. He claims to have been bitten by an alligator, but he does have teeth marks. Both Wojo and Harris have showered and changed into spare clothes. The bum asks for solitary. Wojo takes care of the burglar's leg, but the bum claims to be a rich eccentric poet. Barney releases him and gives him some money. As he leaves, he asks for directions to the 14th Precinct. Fish tells Barney that he will have the surgery. He says he has a good doctor and Bernice's sister is coming to visit. Wojo tells Barney he loved that he gave the bum money, that it was special. Barney then jokingly asks for money out of petty cash. Wojo says that it's good he was kidding because they don't have that amount in petty cash.