-
Narrator: Will Robin escape? Can Batman find him in time? Is this the ghastly end for our Dynamic Duo? Answers tomorrow night. Same time, Same channel. One hint, the worse is yet to come.
-
Riddler: At last, Boy wonder! Robin. You and the caped crusader both are set for the final bow.
-
(With slurred speech)
Batman: Officers. Out of my way! They've got Robin. (Getting into the Bat-mobile) Get out of my way! I said. I've got to go after Robin.
Officer: Hand me the key, Batman. I'm afraid you're in no condition to drive.
-
Molly: You shake a pretty mean cape, Batman.
-
Molly: Why is a quarrel like a bargain?
Batman: Well, well. What master taught you to read?
Molly: The answer is it takes two to make it.
-
Narrator: What foul trickery are the Riddler and his evil Mole Hill Mob are up to now?
-
Tattle: Watch them fish eggs, Molly. They're full of calories. You'll blow up like a balloon.
Molly: Who cares? I'm hungry.
Tattle: I care. Get fat, you won't be able to fit through the man-holes anymore. What use you gonna be?
-
Narrator: Meanwhile, in an abandoned subway tool room, deep under Gotham City, the secret headquarters of the infamous Mole Hill Mob.
-
Batman: What has neither flesh, bone, nor nail? Yet has four fingers and a thumb.
Robin: (Looking at his glove) A glove, of course.
-
Batman: When is the time of a clock like the whistle of a train?
Robin: When it's two to two?
-
Alfred: A million dollars.
Bruce: It's not the money, Alfred. It's the idea of it. My identity revealed. My value as a secret crim fighter ended. Everything I've trained myself for since my parents were murdered.
-
Riddler: What is it that no man wants to have but no man wants to lose?
Robin: A lawsuit.
Riddler: Correct, Boy wonder!
-
Robin: There were three men in a boat with four cigarettes. How did they manage to smoke?
Batman: (Looking at Robin) They throw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter.
-
Mr. Peale: Batman. You've made a mistake. He didn't steel the cross.
Robin: What?
Mr. Peale: I tell you it belongs to him. He lent it it me for a show.
Batman: But Mr. Peale. We saw him take it from you at gun point.
Riddler: Gun point? (Grabs gun and light it, laughing)
Robin: Holy ashtrays.
-
Robin: Gosh. If I could just figure out that riddle. Why can't I get it?
Batman: Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to you on the way across town.
-
The Riddler: (Laughing) This is a recording. Before you trip over your cape, Batman. Riddle me this. There are three men in a boat with for cigarettes but with no matches. How do they manage to smoke?
-
Batman: The Riddler controls his plots like artichokes. You have to strip off spiny leaves to reach the heart.
Robin: The Riddler's mind is twisted. Crime's no fun for him unless it means outwitting us.
-
Batman: Why is an orange like a bell?
Robin: (Snapping his fingers) Answer. Because they both must be peeled.
-
Bruce: Oh, there you are, Dick. Feel like a bit of fishing.
Dick: (Coming down the steps) Holy barracuda! You mean. (Looking at Aunt Harriet) Sure, Bruce. Why not? Sounds swell doesn't it Aunt Harriet.
-
Bruce: Perhaps, if there had been anti-crime centers at the time we now propose when my parents were murdered by dastardly criminals.
-
Commissioner Gordon: I don't know who he is behind that mask of his, but I do know when we need him and we need him now!
-
Commissioner Gordon: Why is an orange like a bell? You know what this means don't you.
Chief O'Hara: The Riddler.
Gordon: Right.
O'Hara: The Riddler, that inferno prince of puzzlers who's outwitted us a dozen times.