Beakman: Don't worry, I won't rat on you. (to Josie)
Lester: All experiments performed at home should be done with adult supervision and all appropriate scientific precautions should be taken. All directions should be done exactly and no substitutions should be used.
Josie: Attention! Attention! It's time to gear up your grey matter. Here he is... The constable of cognizance, the postiff of deception, the Bob Hope of the straight dope... the one, the only, The Beakman!
Beakman: You jab, I'll blab, let's boogie!
Beakman: You don't want a pet porker, Lester. They eat like pigs!
Beakman: Did you know that reptiles and amphibians don't dream?
Lester: Which possibly explains why they don't have meaningful careers.
Don: Near-sighted? How can he say that, Herb?
Herb: Uh, Don? I'm over here.
Don: Keep talking, I'll find you.
Beakman: Silly rat, tricks are for kids.
Lester: Figures... I can't balance my checkbook.
Beakman: No can do no-can-do.
Lester: A watched beeker never boils.
Josie: That rat suit of his is really getting gamey.
Beakman: Do you think I should tactfully ask him to clean it?
Josie: I think you should tactfully ask him to burn it!
Edison: They always steal good ideas from the dead guy!
Beakman: Be patient, Lester. we were going to explain how a light bulb works.
Lester: You screw it in and turn it on. Can I go now?
Josie: A cute guy wouldn't complain like that.
The sharks fact is included in the "Best of Beakman" video/DVD.
Famous Dead Guy: Thomas Alva Edison
The Beakman Challenge for this episode is on the Best of Beakman DVD.
During the electricity commentary, Beakman plays Jim Shorts and Josie is Ann Ounger.
The East Bay Electrons appear on the show to explain how electricity works.