Beakman's World

Phoebe: What is the world's oldest vegetable? Lester: I'll be thirty-four on Wednesday.

Lester: Well, dear friends, ostriches may not stick their heads into the sand, but yours truly does stick his head into the sand-wich!

Jim Shorts: Hitting a major league pitch is so tough that a player can fail seven out of ten times and still make it to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Where else can you get so famous for failing so often? Harry Pitts: Right here, Jim! Jim Shorts: You got that right, Harry!

Lester: I'll see your air freshner and raise you a suspended gas of my own. (Lester passes gas)

Beakman: I want to open a knowledge savings account! Interest me in a question!