Beautiful People (UK)

Season 2 Episode 4

How I Got My Camp

Aired Thursday 9:30 PM Dec 04, 2009 on BBC Two
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Episode Summary

How I Got My Camp
The Doonan family's plans for a holiday are ruined, while Kylie's father returns.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Ricky: So "camp" means doing something as if you're doing it.
        Adult Simon: Yes. So currently, I am standing in the middle of a well-known department store that may or may not sell fridges as if standing in the middle of a well-known department store that may or may not sell fridges.
        Ricky: (chuckles) So I am brushing the Obama dungaree as if brushing the Obama dungaree.
        Simon: Yes. And I am fondling your package because I find you strangely delicious as if fondling your package because I find you strangely delicious.
        Ricky: That's not camp, that's gay.
        Simon: Sometimes straight people are so wise.

      • Debbie: And at times like these, us women should stick together.
        Reba: I ain't no lezzo.
        Debbie: Neither am I.
        Reba: Yeah, but you got one living with you.
        Debbie: No, she's not a lesbian. She's an Asian.
        Reba: I knew she was something weird.

      • Kylie: It will be champagne in the fast lane when we move to The Smoke. Champagne and cocaine. I'm gonna get a huge problem.
        Simon: Me too. I'm just gonna be completely charlied off my mong box, like, constantly.
        Kylie: All the beautfiul people are in rehab.
        Simon: I can't wait. I might even have completely inappropriate relationships with my drugs counselor.
        Kylie: I'm gonna have, like, a near-death experience and write about it in my memoirs in a chapter called, "I knew I was right. I saw the light in tights."

      • Andy: So, he's found out our little secret.
        Hayley: What are we going to do?
        Ashlene: Kill him.
        Debbie: Ashlene.
        Hayley: How do we know we can trust him?
        Simon: He's my best friend, I'd trust him with my life. Well, I'd trust him with my CD collection.

      • Andy: And Contestant Number Two in the Holiday Princess Beauty Pageant is Hayley De Souza from Reading. Miss De Souza, what is your motto in life?
        Ashlene: If it's got a pulse, it's got a chance?

      • Debbie: Uh, due to your dad's work, or lack of it, wer'e not going to be able to afford that holiday abroad this year.
        Haley: Oh, bollocks.
        Andy: Let's face facts, wer'e not going to be able to afford any holiday this year.
        Haley: I've gone and told everyone at intermediate feng shui.
        Simon: And I've told everyone at tap class.
        Haley: Simon, you don't do a tap class.
        Simon: I do in my head. Duh.

      • Debbie: Going anywhere nice for your summer holiday this year, Reba? Slut.
        Reba: Who are you? Me hairdresser?
        Debbie: If only. I'd certainly never let you wander round with that scary retro do.
        Reba: Ahh, glass houses, Debbie.
        Debbie: Where?
        Reba: Anyway, don't you think I look a bit like Grace Jones?
        Debbie: With that walk, more like Vinnie Jones.

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