Beautiful People (UK)

Season 2 Episode 5

How I Got My Turner

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Aired Thursday 9:30 PM Dec 11, 2009 on BBC Two
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Episode Summary

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How I Got My Turner
AIRED:
Debbie becomes the muse to a famous local conceptual artist, while Simon develops an interest in becoming an artist himself and Haley becomes a telephone psychic.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (10)

    • Hayley: What's going on? What's the matter?
      Simon: Is everything all right?
      Ashlene: Oh, take a wild guess!
      Andy: My little girl's gone into labor!
      Simon: Oh, is that all? We're having a dance class.
      Andy: Simon!

    • Adult Simon: Now, food made by a blind person might look hideous but actually...
      Simon: It's absolutely gorgeous.
      Kylie: Yeah, it's so much better than that usual bland crap your mum makes.
      Andy: Spicy food makes me sleepy.
      Hayley: Aw, I feel like Snow White with all her dwarves.
      (points to Andy) Sleepy
      (points to Ashlene) Slutty
      (points to Simon) Campy
      (points to Kylie) And Vampy

    • Debbie: I'm supporting the arts, Andy, okay?
      Andy: I'm supporting the arts. Why else would I let him be doing that?
      (Simon is seen sitting in his parents' bedroom drawing them)
      Simon: Be warned. I'm going through my Pubist Ceriod.
      Debbie: I think you'll find you mean, "Cubist Period,' lover. I know all the jargon.
      (Simon shows his drawing to his parents)
      Andy: Brilliant. You've captured me perfectly. That look of ironic sort of demimonde-ishness is uncanny.
      Debbie: Simon, you've give me wonky nostrils and a lazy eye.
      Simon: Whoops! Sorry.

    • Kylie: Which world-famous artist?
      Simon: Stacey Bile.
      Kylie: Never heard of her.
      Simon: That's because your family isn't Bohemian like mine.
      Kylie: I've heard of artists.
      Simon: Uh, buying your mother a Beryl Cook birthday card does not make you Brian Sewell.
      Kylie: I've heard of Celine Dion.
      Simon: She's a recording artist.

    • Stacey Bile: I think you're hilarious. You're so suburban, but your image is so... kitsch.
      (Stacey starts crying)
      Debbie: Oh, God. Here we go.
      Johoyo: She is like Viagra Falls.

    • Debbie: It's women like you who give Reading a bad name. Puking on the telly! Swearing all the time! It's a f***ing disgrace!
      Stacey Bile: You remind me of my mum.
      (Debbie smacks Stacey)
      Debbie: I am not old enough to be your mum!

    • Debbie: Hayley, when you work, it's meant to be for money.
      Hayley: So?
      Debbie: So, you don't get paid just for telling people two things about each star sign. How does money change hands?
      Hayley: Well...
      Debbie: See? See?
      Hayley: That is offensive.
      Johoyo: Yes, you are one of the rudest people I have met. And I have backcombed Brian May.

    • Hayley: You are really rude at the moment.
      Debbie: Me, rude? Can i just point out Simon come to me this morning asking what a labia was.
      Hayley: What did you say?
      Debbie: Said it was one up from a Ford Capri. But it wasn't me that put that word in his head, was it Hales?
      Johoyo: You know, I've got beautiful crimson labia with leather interiors. Very unusual. Very top-of-the-range.

    • Johoyo: So, what did the Tit actually say?
      Hayley: It's "Tate".
      Johoyo: Nice Tates.
      Debbie: Thanks. Oh, I gave them a piece of my mind, Jo.
      Hayley: Joho.
      Johoyo: Johoyo.
      Debbie: Johoyo? No.
      Hayley: Johoyo, whoa.
      Debbie: Johoyo, go.

    • Andy: Who's the Turner prize actually named after?
      Ashlene: Don't know. Tina?
      Debbie: Really? Oh, I love her. Wasn't Ike a bastard though?
      Simon: Of course, it wasn't named after Tina Turner. Duh!
      Andy: Well, who was it named after then?
      Simon: Anthea. Oh, I'm surrounded by ignorami.

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