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Beavis: Penis!
Butt-head: What?
Beavis: Penis. I was just making conversation.
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Beavis: How does Santa Clause get those reindeer to fly?
Butt-head: 'Cause he beats the crap out of 'em with a whip.
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Beavis: Hey Butt-head, Santa Clause looks like one of those biker dudes.
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(discussing cool Christmas shows)
Butt-head: Or how about that, uh, 'The Grunge Who Stole Christmas'.
Beavis: Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Butt-head: Yeah, except then at the end, he becomes a wuss. (incorrectly discussing "Willie Wonka") Remember there was that chick with her little dog Scroto? And then they like go and crush that wicked bitch with their house. Then that Willie Wanker dude has to get back to his home planet.
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Beavis: Hey Butt-head, tell another one of those Christmas jokes.
Butt-head: Okay, here's one: Santa Clause has this big sac.
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Butt-head: Hey Beavis, I just like thought up a Christmas joke. Check this out: How come Rudolph's nose is red?
Beavis: Why?
Butt-head: 'Cause it's bloody.
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Butt-head: What's wrong with that guy?
Beavis: He's like a munchkin.
Butt-head: Yeah, an ass-munchkin.
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Beavis: Hey Butt-head, where is Hollis?
Butt-head: Uh, it's like one of those places like Seattle, where stuff is cool.
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Beavis: Turds are cool.