Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head's Dad: Hey, you wanna see something really cool? (he pulls down his pants and lets one loose and there was an explosion and all of them were laughing) Beavis: FIRE!

Butt-head: You scored with two chicks? Butt-head's Dad: Yeah, they were sluts.

Butt-head's Dad: Hey, one of you bastards got a match? Butt-head: Uh, yeah, my butt and your uh, butt.

Muddy Grimes: (got a shotgun out pointing to Beavis & Butt-head) Any last words before I kill ya? Butt-head: Uh, yeah, I got a couple. Buttcheeks. Beavis: Yeah, and boobs, I just want to say that again, boobs. Muddy Grimes: I'm gonna blow you both to Hell, that's what I'm gonna do!

Old Lady: This is Travis and Bob- uh, what's your last name dear? Butt-head: Uh, Head. My first name's Butt.

Driver: Excuse me, you wouldn't know where I can find these guys would ya? Butt-head: (tring to read the sign said "Mr. Beavis and Mr. Butt-head) Be-ave, Be-ave? Beavis: Ba boo, Boot, someone named Boot? Butt-head: This says "Beavis". Beavis: And "Boot-head". Butt-head: Uh, that's Butt-head.

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, are we ever gonna score? Butt-head: Uh, I probably will. But not you. You're too much of a butt monkey. Beavis: Shut up, dil-hole. Butt-head: Butt dumpling. Beavis: Turd burglar. Butt-head: Uh... Ass goblin. Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street? Butt-head: Uh... Yeah. Beavis: 'Cuz...I need to stop by his tool shed for a couple minutes. You know I'm sayin'? Butt-head: Tool.

Beavis: (in the desert) This sucks. It's all hot and stuff. Butt-head: This desert is stupid. They need to put a drinking fountain out here. Beavis: Yeah, yeah. Like a 7-11, or something.

Beavis: (saying his speech) Dammit! This always happens! I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score! It's not fair! We traveled um, um, a hundred miles, just because we thought we were gonna score! But now it's not gonna happen! Dammit! Bus Driver: Hey, buddy! Sit down! Beavis: Shut up, ass-wipe! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score! It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people, but they've probably scored! Bus Driver: Hey! I'm warning you! Sit down! Beavis: (motioning to Martha It's like this chick's a slut... and look at this guy! He's old, but he's probably scored a million times...! Jim: (nodding) Oh, yeah. Beavis: But not us! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! Bus Driver: Alright! That's it numb-nuts! (attacks Beavis)

Mr. Van Driessen: There's a wonderful and exiting world out there that we don't TV to entertain us. Butthead: He said "anus." Beavis: Entertain-us, anus, oh yeah. Mr. Van Driessen: Have you guys hear a word I just said? Butthead: Uh, yeah, anus.

(in Muddy's trunk) Butthead: You go first Beavis. Beavis: I don't know Butthead, that road's like moving pretty fast and stuff. Butthead: Come on Beavis, just start running really fast as soon as you hit the ground, it'll work. Beavis: No way, you go. Butthead: Don't be a wuss, Beavis. (he pushes Beavis out of the trunk and Beavis bounces on the road and several cars crashed to each other and a big truck stopped for Beavis and more cars crashed) Butthead: That was cool.

Old Woman on Bus: Are you two heading for Las Vegas? Beavis: Yeah. We're gonna score. Old Woman on Bus: I'm hope to score big there myself. I'll mostly gonna be doing the slots. Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts too. Do they have a lot of sluts in Las Vegas? Old Woman on Bus: Agh. There's so many Slots you won't know where to begin. Beavis: Whoa. Hey Butthead, this chick is pretty cool. She said there's gonna be tons of sluts in Las Vegas. Butthead: Cool.

Agent Bork: Give us the unit!!! Beavis: Why does everyone wanna see my schlong?

Butt-head: This sucks. All they got is shows about water. Beavis: Yeah. They should have shows about FIRE!!

Beavis: Hey, wait a minute. What's going on??? (when the plane was about to fly) AAHH!!! Where gonna DIE!!!! Ah, where all gonna DIE!!!!

Butt-head: This is it, Beavis. We're finally gonna score! Uh-huh-huh-huh. Beavis: (gasps) Thank god!

Dallas: Hold it, what's he paying you? Butt-Head: Uh.... ten.... Dallas: Ten grand? That cheap ass. Alright I got a better deal for you. I'll double it, I'll pay you 20 if you go back there and do him. Butt-Head: Uh, You want us to do a guy? No way. Beavis: I dunno Butt-head, that is a lot of money. Maybe if we just close our eyes and pretend he's a chick... (Butt-head slaps him) AHHH!

Beavis: Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio!

Confessor: How many Hail Mary's? Beavis: A thousand, and I want you to hit yourself as hard as you can! (confessor hits himself) Beavis: Harder!

Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. We must find this butt-hole that took our TV.

Female Flight Attendant: Our choices for dinner tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo. Beavis: Picatta, tipicatta! Man: Excuse me, does the gumbo have any corn in it? Beavis: I am Cornholio! I need picatta for my bunghole! Flight Attendant: You'll have to wait your turn, sir. Beavis: Are you threatening me? My bunghole will not wait!

President Clinton: Beavis and Butt-Head. On behalf of all your fellow Americans, I extend my deepest thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans who will grow into the leaders of this great country. Butt-head: He said "extend".