Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head: You know another cool thing about cows: they get to chew their own pud. I learned it that time we went on a field trip to the dare-ree. Beavis: Well, um, was I there? Butt-head: Yeah, but you spent the whole time staring at the goat's nads.

Beavis: I didn't know a cow had boobs. I thought it just had, you know, that big nut sack with all the wieners hanging off it.

Beavis: You have to spank a cow's monkey to get milk?

Butt-head: Rules suck.

Announcer: If it aint broke, don't fix it. (crash) Oops, it broke. More 'Beavis and Butt-head' after this.

Mr. Van Driessen: Please pull your pants up, okay.

Butt-head: Let's write "big butt" on the chalkboard.

Beavis: How come he gets to yell and flip off people, but if we do it, we get sent up here? Butt-head: I think it's this white line.

(Van Driessen sees Beavis and Butt-head mooning off the bus) Van Driessen: Beavis and Butt-head, no! I'm afraid that you two can't be trusted by yourselves in the back. I'm going to have to switch places with you guys. Butt-head: We'll be better. Beavis: Yeah. We'll give them a pressed fruitbowl. Van Driessen: I mean it.