Butt-head: Hey Beavis, I'll buy one of your candy bars for a dollar.
Beavis: No way. They're two dollars, butthole.
Butt-head: Uh, then can you like loan me a dollar?
Beavis: No way! Cause then you would have two dollars and I won't have any!
Butt-head: Come on, Beavis, I'll buy one from you. That way you'll sell a candy bar plus you'll have two dollars.
Beavis: Um, okay, cool.
Mr. Candy: Who can tell me what I'm holding in my hand?
Butt-head: Uh, your nads?
Mr. Candy: No, my right hand.
Mr. Candy: Now, who'd like a candy bar?
Mr. Anderson: You boys couldn't sell a dollar for 50 cents.
Mr. Candy: Ah, oh, no! You're not gonna pull that again! It took me six months to get another job. Now give me the rest of the money, you little twerp!
Beavis: Ahhh! He's trying to touch my wiener! Let go, pervert!
Butt-head: Kick him in the nads, Beavis!
Mr. Candy: You two, you little farter!
Buzzcut: What the hell are you doing? This is my class, I do the ass-kicking around here!
Mr. Candy: Wait your turn, Jarhead! (slaps him, Buzzcut becomes furious)
Buzzcut: You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candyass! I hope you know something about hand-to-hand combat!
Mr. Candy: Oh, you're going down, soldier boy! (tries to hit him, but Buzzcut kicks him in the head)
Mr. Candy: I want you to give me everything you've got in your pocket.
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, he wants what's in your pocket.
Beavis: He's a pocket fisherman.
Butt-head: Our school's making us sell candy.
Beavis: Yeah. We're losers.
Mr. Van Driessen does not appear in this episode.
Included, without music videos, in disc 1 of the 2006 "Mike Judge Collection Vol. 2" DVD set.
This is the second appearance of "Mr. Candy". His first appearance was in "Manner's Suck".
* this episode was originally shown without videos during MTV's Animation Weekend on the date given above. The full episode premiered 4/16/95.
* the voice of 'Mr. Candy' was performed by David Spade