Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis: "You know, Butt-head, sometimes, when you squash a bug, like this tobacco stuff comes out of 'em. I tried chewing some of that stuff once, but uh I don't know, it didn't do anything for me." Butt-head: I like it when you squash a cockroach, and that white stuff comes out of them, and it looks like a Junior Mint." Beavis: "Oh yeah, but like um, but it doesn't taste like a Junior Mint."

(Watching "Shiny Happy People) Beavis: "You know, um, I wasn't feeling very good when the song started, but um, I feel pretty good now. Feeling pretty happy, shiny." Butt-head: "Shut up, Beavis. You're a miserable piece of crap." Beavis: "Shut up, Butt-head, I'm happier than you." Butt-head: "No way Beavis, you're miserable because, like, nobody likes you, chicks don't like you, you're not good at anything." Beavis: "Yeah, but I'm hung like a horse."

(Watching "Shiny Happy People) Butt-head: "Uh-huh-huh, happiness." Beavis: "Um, you said 'penis.' I just thought I'd tell you."

Beavis (taking a picture of his "captain"): I'm going to have to ask you to stand up straight.