Beavis and Butt-Head

Mr. Van Driessen: Now Beavis and Butt-head, if you could grow any type of food, what would you grow? Beavis: Nachos.

Beavis: Once, my grandma was reading me this book, where there was this dude, he was like magic cuz he can like, he can um take this one loaf of bread and like, use it to feed like a thousand people. He was cool. You know what else he could do? He could take water, and turn it into beer.

Beavis: Hey, look. That doll has an "outie". Butt-head: That's not an outie, Beavis. Look, there's two of 'em. They're boobs. Beavis: They look a bit low. Butt-head: Yeah...like your mom. Beavis: SHUT UP BUTT-HEAD!

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Butt-head: What do you know 'bout nachos, Daria? Beavis: Yeah, Diarrhea. Daria: Not much, but I do know you're suppose to plant the seeds. (B&B state blankly) Daria: In the ground. (B&B stare blankly) Daria: I know it sounds crazy, but I've seen it work.

Butt-head: This corn is starting to piss me off.

(Watching a magician) Butt-head: Maybe he'll pull a rabbit out of his butt.

Van Driessen: What happened to your corn? Butt-head: We made it into nachos already. Beavis: Yeah. They were really good. Van Driessen: Come on. What really happened? Butt-head: Oh, uh, we feed it and watered it and like tried talking to it and stuff, but it just had a bad attitude about growing. Beavis: Yeah, it's like one of those problem plants. Van Driessen: Well, I can't fail you for trying, but what's that awful smell? Butt-head: Oh, yeah. After it stopped growing, Beavis fertilized it.