Beavis and Butt-Head

(watching Shaggy video) Beavis: What is this um, this accent he's talking? Butt-head: Dumbass, it's foreign. Beavis: Oh yeah.

Butt-head: Uh, this table is like twenty dollars. Customer: Hey, what about the four chairs? Butt-head: Uh, they're eight. Customer: How much for the set? Butt-head: Uh, fifteen. Customer: Alright, here you go. Butt-head: Hey Beavis, I'm like ripping these people off.

(trying to sell Mr. Anderson's TV) Beavis: Yeah, it even gets porno, no extra charge sir. Customer: How much did you say you wanted? Butt-head: Uh, how much do you wanna spend? Customer: Well, I've only got eight dollars on me, but I could write you a check. Butt-head: Uh, we only take cash, but uh, it just happens to be eight dollars.

Old Lady: I'm looking for a gift for our church rectory. Butt-head: Uh, did you say, 'rectum?'

Butt-head: Remember that time you got all sunburned? And then your skin peeled, and you like pulled it off and brought it to school and showed everybody. Beavis: Oh, yeah, yeah, that kind of reminds me of that time I tried to warm up my nads in the microwave. Butt-head: So like uh, how do you just put your nads in the microwave and not your shlong?

(watching Juliana Hatfield video) Butt-head: Oh, she looks good there. Beavis: Yeah yeah, see? Dammit, it's like, I see 'em, I get a boner, and then nothing happens.

Mr. Anderson: Boys, I can give you a real good deal on that there bushwhacker. Butt-head: Bush. Beavis: Whacker.

Old Woman: Oh, what a precious manger. The pastor will love this. But where's the baby Jesus? Butt-head: Uh, he's like, ten bucks extra. Old Woman: Charging money for the baby Jesus? That's sacrilege! Butt-head: He's naked.