Saverio Guerra |
Bob |
Ted Danson |
Dr. John Becker |
Terry Farrell |
Regina "Reggie" Kostas |
Alex Désert |
Jake Malinak |
Hattie Winston |
Margaret Wyborn |
Shawnee Smith |
Linda |
Todd Robert Anderson |
Pete |
Guest Star |
Octavia Spencer |
Ticket Woman |
Guest Star |
Sheila Shaw |
Carla |
Guest Star |
Becker has to work late, so he gives his hockey tickets to Jake and Reggie. The clerk won't let them in because they are not John Becker. Rather than paying for other tickets, why don't they just call Becker and ask him to tell the clerk he gave them the tickets?
Jake: It's not my fault that John got stuck at the office because he had no help.
Linda: No help? What am I?
Margaret: You're no help.
Scalper: Hey, you want to buy some tickets.
Reggie: Actually, we do.
Scalper: Eighty bucks.
Jake: Eighty bucks?!
Scalper: Hey, am I asking you why a blind guy's going to a hockey game?
Becker: You can't hit people, not even Bob.
Becker: Lunch to go, please.
Reggie: Anything in particular?
Becker: It doesn't matter, just put the brown stuff on the green stuff and then put the yellow stuff on the side, there.
Margaret: You ever thought about naming your personalities?
Becker: You ever thought of giving me a little more respect around here?
Margaret: Oh, I thought about it.
Becker (checking his clipboard): Okay, uh, Mr. Hatch. I'm Dr. Becker.
(he and Richard shake hands)
Richard Hatch: Hey, Doc. Want me to take my clothes off? 'Cause that's no problem.
Becker: Uh, why don't we just talk first.
Richard Hatch: Okay.
Becker: (checking his clipboard) All right. It says you're here for... stomach distress. Any, uh, recent changes in your diet?
Richard Hatch: No, but, uh, several months ago, I was out of the country.
Becker: Oh, yeah, I've seen that before. Mexico?
Richard Hatch: No, I was on this island. My diet was very exotic. I pretty much existed on stingray, dog food, beetle larvae...
Becker: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. What the hell's wrong with you?
Richard Hatch: Hey, some of the *other* people there ate rats.
Becker: Rats? Well, why in the world would anyone do that?
Richard Hatch: It was for "Survivor."
Becker: "Survivor?"
Richard Hatch: You know, the contest? The show? It was on television.
Becker: Television? Oh, my God! You know, what is this world coming to? People are eating bugs and rats on a stupid television show? I swear to God! You know, TV has become nothing more than the... the Petri dish where this country grows its idiots! Don't they have better things to do than to debase themselves coast to coast?
Richard Hatch: Well, I won.
Becker: Oh, yeah, won. Yeah, please. I mean, what could you possibly have won that would make up for your loss of self-respect?
Richard Hatch: A million dollars?
Becker: Now, h-h-how could I get involved with something like that? Is that something that any... just anybody...
(the scene fades out)
Linda: What am I, some sort of lacky who gets stuck doing all the jobs that nobody wants to?
John Becker: Shake things up a bit, that's my philosophy.
Linda: Nah, the Young & the Restless is on in 15 minutes. I'll just tough it out till then.
Jake: You're forgetting one aspect of his life, he's cheap!
Linda: You ate at Wong's? What happened, Ming's burn down?
Patient: Doctor Becker, I've been waiting since 4:30.
John Becker: Well it's 5:00. You're beating the average.
Margaret: You carried my egg sandwich in this heat for two hours, Linda? No wonder I'm sick. Thanks a lot, Linda.
Linda: Finally, you're welcome, Margaret.
Reggie: So, how was the food at Wong's?
Becker: It's Chinese food. What's the difference?
Reggie: If there's no difference, Becker, why not eat at Wong's instead of Ming's?
Becker: 'Cause there's no difference. Why not eat at Ming's instead of Wong's?
Margaret: Because there's no difference.
Becker: Which is exactly why I eat at Wong's.
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