Season 3 Episode 8

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Nov 27, 2000 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Becker: Can I have your attention please? I'm happy to report that I just quit smoking.
      Margaret: You said you would never do that again as long as I was still alive.
      Becker: Don't worry this time I know I can do it.
      Margaret: You said that last time.
      Becker: No really. This time I'm serious. I can make it.
      Bob: You said that last time.
      Becker: Hey, you know what? Screw you guys.
      Reggie, Bob, Jake and Margaret: You said that last time.

    • Becker: I'll bet you a hundred bucks I don't touch a cigarette all day.
      Margaret: I don't think he can last that long.
      Reggie: I don't think he's got a hundred bucks!

    • Bob: Let me guess, Becker. Still a little low on vitamin smoke?

    • Bob: All of a sudden I start having that dream, the one we all have, you know, where you're making love to a woman and her legs turn into a pair of scissors.

    • Becker: Do you have a standing rib roast with garlic mashed potatoes?
      Reggie: I've got a standing pot of water with some hot dogs floating in it.

    • Becker: Throw them away.
      Margaret: Why don't you throw them away?
      Reggie: Because throwing away anything he's already paid for would kill him faster than the cigarettes.

    • Margaret: Oh, it's rare to find this level of repartee. It's like PBS.
      Bob: Yeah, without the P.

    • Becker (while smoking the cigarettes Margaret threw into the dumpster): God, I am just pathetic!

    • Jake: Don't try sneaking a smoke, cause I already talked to Margaret and Linda. I have eyes everywhere.
      Becker: You don't have eyes anywhere.

    • Reggie: Dog.
      Becker: Leave.
      Reggie: Tree.
      Becker: Me.
      Reggie: Man.
      Becker: Alone.
      Reggie: Hey!

    • Reggie (to Bob): If I found you in my bed, I know I'd hurl.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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