Construction builder: Give me a coffee and a muffin to go? Oh, and can I use your men's room? Reggie: Sure, it's right through there. Oh! Only you don't want the door that says men that's actually the women's room but the wo is always missing. You want the door that says me which is the men without the n. (construction builder looks at Reggie confused) Reggie: It's the second door on the right.
Becker: What's the matter with you people? I didn't kill that guy. Bob: (coming out of phone booth) Hey, Becker, you know that guy you killed? I just got his job. Becker: I didn't kill anybody, Bob! What'd you just say? Bob: I'm your new super. Becker: But Alexei just died this morning. How could you even know about the job? Bob: I owe it all to Linda. Becker: Linda helped you? My Linda? Bob: If, by "help", you mean left your office as soon as she heard the old super croaked, ran to your building, gave them my resume--which, by the way, she wrote acted as a reference, and wouldn't leave until they agreed to hire me, then, yeah, she helped! Becker: But you don't know anything about being a super! Bob: What's to know? Jake can do it, for crying out loud! Jake: Hey! Bob: Not to mention it's the deal of a lifetime--good salary, free apartment, and I get to sit on my ass all day and pretend I don't speak English. It's what I was born to do! Becker: This can't be happening. Bob: Don't worry. Whatever you need, day or night, my door is always open, and thanks to my new passkey, so is yours. Reggie: Jake, do you realize what this means? Jake: Yeah, Bob has someplace else to go.
Becker (to Linda): If I were capable of killing someone, would you still be alive?
Becker: Cheer up, Reg, as a restaurant this place is a toilet, but as a toilet it could be really special.
Becker: It's three in the morning, Alexi, I know you're there. Come on, you can't be asleep, you don't work. What could you possibly be tired from? You know, we didn't knock down the Berlin Wall so you could import your Soviet-style incompetence to the Bronx, so put the vodka bottle down, get up here and fix my sink!
Margaret: A new low, Linda. You are now hitting on a cardboard box.
Margaret: It was very Christian of you to take him for as long as you did. Linda: Hey, you have an extra room at your house, don't you? Margaret: You tell that little termite where I live, I swear I'll take you both out.
Reggie: You live in a dead guy's apartment? Becker: It's a very old city, everyone lives in a dead guy's apartment.
Bob: Bad news, it looks like Linda's kicking Bob out of her apartment. Reggie: Ah, the tribe has spoken.
Becker: Why don't you make a John Becker special? Reggie: Oh, I would, except for who'd buy a sandwich made of crab, bologna and bullsh... Becker: Hey!
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