Becker

Lynda: What did I do to make Steve stop loving me? Linda: Well, you slept with all the guys in his band. Lynda: I was trying to take an interest in what he does.

Lynda: It was Steve's idea to have a three-some. It's not my fault I liked it! Margaret: Why are you telling me this? Lynda: You said you cared. Margaret: No, I said TELL someone who cares.

Becker: Why does everything happen to me? Margaret: It's a shame that dead man isn't around to feel sorry for you.

Margaret: We got a call about one of Dr. Heisman's patients, a Mr. Tompkins. Becker: What's his problem? Margaret: He's dead. Becker: Well, I can't fix that.

Linda: She could help out. She could do half of my work. Margaret: Doing half your work is what you do.

Margaret: Heisman's on vacation and you agreed to cover for him. Becker: Well, why'd I do that? Margaret: So that one day you can go on vacation. Becker: I don't go on vacation. Margaret: Well, then you screwed yourself.

Linda: The only way I could calm her down was to make her a coffee surprise. That's two parts coffee, one part Jack Daniels. Becker: Well, what's the surprise? Linda: It's really five parts Jack Daniels.

Margaret: Just for today, you are Beth. Lynda: I don't like the name Beth. Linda: I do, can I be Beth? Lynda: I want to be Beth too. Margaret: You can't both be Beth. Linda: Why? We're both Linda. Lynda: Let's pick our own names. Linda: I want to be Margaret. Lynda: No, I want to be Margaret. Margaret: I want to be dead.

Reggie: When it comes to magazines, I'm a slut.