Being Erica

Season 1 Episode 13


Aired Monday 9:00 PM Apr 01, 2009 on CBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Erica: You know that friend you have, the girl who seems to have it all figured out? Well, on the surface, I'm that girl - and honestly, things have never been better. I should be celebrating : my new promotion, my new relationship … my new life. But isn't it funny how, just when things are finally moving forward, all you can think about is the one thing … that one regret that'll always hold you back.

    • (Erica is showing Meeri how to brew a latte)
      Meeri: So, you must be very excited.
      Erica: Yeah, it's, um … it's a great step forward.
      Meeri: Step forward? (laughs) You are like this rising star.
      Erica: Thank you, Meeri, that's very flattering, but I think that … you're overstating things about a thousand percent.
      Meeri (laughs): Seriously? I mean, you were me, you know, Julianne's new assistant, just a few months ago. I mean, you must be over the moon.
      Erica: Okay, milk's done, ready to pour.
      Meeri: Oh, can I try? (pours a heart-shaped design)
      Erica: Wow! You've done this before.
      Meeri: I dabble in latte art - on the side.

    • Ethan: Today, you should be with your family.
      Erica: No, I don't want to be.
      Ethan: Why not?
      Erica: Because it-it's always the same thing every year, you know? I mean, we used to love going to my grandmother's farm, but ever since Leo died, we only go up once a year. It's kind of become our unofficial graveyard. And when this time of year comes around, I always wake up in the morning with this feeling like, you know, I just wanna crawl back in bed and cry and … and just shut everything out. It's always been that way … except for yesterday.
      Ethan: Why?
      Erica: Because of you … and the promotion and everything. I mean … my life, it's really wonderful right now - and I just … I wanna feel that. I wanna enjoy that. But it's like I can't, you know? And then you asked me to go to Stratford, and I felt so guilty for feeling even a spark of happiness, for even wanting to say yes to the weekend.

    • Erica: We hardly ever talk about Leo, but when we do, it's always that. You know, our collective failure, how … we couldn't reach him in time. Honestly, I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize how dysfunctional it is. You know, we never talk about his life - (tearful) about how great he was.
      Dr. Tom: This year you tried to change that.
      Erica: You know, I wanted to do … something that would help us let go of it, just something positive. But it didn't work and, frankly, you know, I'm not surprised.
      Dr. Tom: Why's that?
      Erica: Because it's not easy to let go of something you've carried for years. I tried to go to Stratford with Ethan and I couldn't even make it to the car.
      Dr. Tom: Erica, you and I, we have arrived at a … juncture of sorts here … You see, I know that this is the one regret that you've been waiting for, and that your regret is simply that you did not wake up in time - and that you were unable to go into that barn and pull your brother out. Unfortunately, that is not what this is about. There are … limits to this therapy and … right now, we're facing one of them. Because, no matter how deeply you regret it, you are not allowed to go back and … play God. You are not permitted … to bring back the dead.

    • (Erica returns from saving her brother)
      Dr. Tom: What've you done?
      Erica: I-I didn't have a choice.
      Dr. Tom: Really?
      Erica: Okay, fine, I did have a choice - and you can think whatever you want because if I have to choose between this therapy … and my brother, I choose Leo.
      Dr. Tom: You made a promise. You made a commitment, Erica. You sat right here in this office … you sat in this office, you made a commitment to me and-and then you …
      Erica: This has nothing to do with you.
      Dr. Tom: This has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME! (turns away and pauses) You have thrown away months of work that we have done here and you have shown by your decision here today that you have learned … nothing.
      Erica: That's not true.
      Dr. Tom: I don't wanna hear it.
      Erica: No, this-this is different.
      Dr. Tom: Get out.
      Erica: What?
      Dr. Tom (grabs her by the arm): Go! Get out of my office! Get out!
      Erica: Let go of me! You're hurting me!

    • (in the "alternate future" where Erica's a Managing Director at River Rock)
      Brent: She waved at me.
      Julianne: Why would she do that? What, you think she's working some kind of strategy?
      Brent: Maybe. She never slums it over here in non-fiction. She must be working an angle.

    • (in the "alternate future" where Erica's a Managing Director at River Rock)
      Julianne: How does she pull in those numbers? God, I've never wanted to be another person more in my entire life.
      Brent: This boy's extreme makeover starts with that sweater - Sasha Fierce!

    • Erica: Why is this happening? How is this … all happening again?
      Dr. Tom: Are you surprised? Did you really think that you could get away with it? There are consequences to breaking the rules. In your case, this is the result.
      Erica: So, you're saying … you did this all TO TEACH ME A LESSON!?
      Dr. Tom: No. Think of this like the universe's way of righting itself. You changed something, Erica. It needed to be changed back. (exhales) I had nothing to do with it.
      Erica (tearfully): I made a mistake.
      Dr. Tom (sighs wearily): Yeah, it would seem that way.
      Erica: Can I … can I please go back? I'm sorry that I broke my promise. I'm sorry.
      Dr. Tom: I know. It's easy to be sorry … after the fact, when … things haven't turned out the way you wanted them to. Wha-what was that that you said to me? That if you had to choose between Leo and therapy, you'd choose Leo? Well, Leo's dead … again. So, what does that leave you with? Therapy, I guess, but … the thing is, I'm not really interested anymore.

    • Dr. Tom: You know, Erica, you don't have to do a whole song-and-dance for me. Look, I'll do whatever you want. You wanna go back? You wanna do it again?
      Erica: Yes.
      Dr. Tom: Okay, well, go ahead, you're the boss.
      Erica: No.
      Dr. Tom: Oh, come on, it's pretty clear by this point that you think that you should be the one calling the shots. So, go ahead, you go back. I mean, honestly? I could care less.

    • Leo: I'm not a kid anymore, and there's a point at which they should just have to let go.
      Erica: It's hard. I mean, I'm not saying that they're right, 'cause they're not.
      Leo: You know, I just wish … I wish they'd just listen for once.
      Erica: Why don't you write them a letter? You know, sometimes it helps to write things down. 'Cause right now they're just … they're not seeing the big picture - which is that they can't protect you from everything. All I'm saying … you wanna drop out and see the world, things could be worse …

    • (Garry begins reading Leo's letter aloud, then Leo is heard in a voiceover)
      Garry/Leo: Dear Mom and Dad, I wanted to write to explain myself. I hate fighting with you guys, and I need you to understand the reason I'm fighting so hard is because I feel I'm stuck, like I'm treading water, and I need to take a risk and try something new. It's easier to stay here in some ways, where everything is familiar; but then I think about how much more there could be for me if I just took the chance. I don't wanna look back ten years from now … and regret that I didn't follow my heart. Even though I don't know what I wanna do with my life, I don't think that matters. I know the kind of person I want to be : unafraid of a challenge, and willing to face whatever comes. I love you guys. Leo.

    • Erica: I mean, it was, uh … it was really intense. But just being with them and talking about Leo, Ethan, it felt so good. You know, all those memories that … we'd been trying to ignore, to finally share them with each other, it was like … in a way … he came alive, you know? And I have you to thank for that, because I don't think that it woulda happened this way if you hadn't given me the push.
      Ethan: No, Erica, it's …
      Erica: No, really. Look, I just … I always knew that the way that we dealt with Leo's death wasn't working, but … (exhales) I mean, I was just … I was gonna ignore it. So, thank you for giving me that kick.
      Ethan: Well, I owed you. You did the same for me with Claire.

    • (Erica finds herself in a strange, new office)
      Erica: Where am I?
      Dr. Naadiah: This is my office.
      Erica: What's going on?
      Dr. Naadiah: I know you and Dr. Tom have hit a bit of a … snag.
      Erica: Is he okay?
      Dr. Naadiah: He's fine. He's taking a leave of absence.
      Erica: A leave of absence? Uh … I'm sorry, I … I just, um …
      Dr. Naadiah: Can I get you anything? Tea?
      Erica: No. Thank you. So, just to clarify, who are you?
      Dr. Naadiah: I'm Naadiah … your new therapist.

  • Notes

    • Original International Air Dates:
      U.S. : May 14, 2009 on SOAPnet
      Netherlands : October 27, 2009 on Net 5
      U.K. : December 14, 2009 on E4

  • Allusions

    • Gary's Sweatshirt: Live Long And Prosper.

      For the second week in a row, an allusion to Spock's Vulcan saying from Star Trek. This time it's on Gary Strange's sweatshirt which has both the saying and a sketch of the Vulcan hand gesture.

    • Brent: This boy's extreme makeover starts with that sweater - Sasha Fierce!

      Two allusions in one line! First, Brent alludes to the show Extreme Makeover - where individuals are "reimagined" by a team of surgeons, cosmetic specialists and personal trainers. Then he alludes to pop diva Beyoncé. Sasha Fierce was what she called her "alter-ego". In fact, the title of her third studio album was I Am … Sasha Fierce.