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Being Erica Season 4 Episode 10

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AIRED: 12/5/11

Julianne surprises Erica on her birthday.

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- Erica: (after getting out of the session) You can't expect people to be like you. You are not your patient. It just, it seems so obvious now.
  
  Dr. Tom: It is. It is obvious. And notwithstanding that, it has been one of the toughest lessons for me to learn.
  Erica: For you?
  Dr. Tom: Mm-hm. We tend, Erica, all of us, to see the world through the prism of our own reflection. We assume, without even thinking, that people are just like us. You know - the way that I, in the past, have made that assumption with you.
  Erica: Like my Zayde and my father.
  Dr. Tom: Like you and Julianne - as a business partner, as a friend ... When the people that we care about let us down, when they disappoint us, we have trouble seeing that we're holding them to an impossible standard.
  Erica: You are not your patient. But at the same time ...
  Dr. Tom: ... you are your patient.
  Erica: (concluding) The lessons, they're two sides of the same coin. It's about finding the balance.
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- Erica: You feel like talking?
  Zayde: Not really.
  Erica: Look, I know that you're disappointed in me, but... I'm disappointed in you too. You really hurt my dad.
  Zayde: Don't get me started about your dad.
  Erica: He worked so hard tonight to give you the party that you wanted.
  Zayde: To give me the party? It's not for me. He's supposed to teach his kids.
  Erica: He teaches us things that are important to him.
  Zayde: No, you're young, you don't understand. What's important are the traditions.If you don't carry them on, you lose them.
  Erica: I know, Zayde, but-
  Zayde: No, you don't know. The fact is, if you were my kids, I'd never raise you like this. Not in a million years.
  
  Erica: But we're not your kids. And dad, he is not you, he is himself. He is a different man, in a different generation, raising his kids his way. And isn't he allowed, Zayde, to be his own person?
  Zayde: You raise your kids and you expect them to be like you. Now, maybe that's wrong, but that's the way it is.
  
  Erica: I think it's more than that. I think that we expect the people that we love, the people that we care about, to be like us
  in all kinds of ways, and when they're not, we're disappointed.
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