Being Erica

Season 3 Episode 1

The Rabbit Hole

Aired Monday 9:00 PM Sep 21, 2010 on CBC



  • Trivia

    • Featured Music:
      "Open Your Eyes" by Lily Frost
      "Need I Say More" by Dee
      "Got Me" by Stars And Crosses
      "Outtathaway" by The Vines
      "Going Down The Road" by The Wailin' Jennys

    • Quote Dr. Tom uses in this episode:

      Pressure makes diamonds! - General George S. Patton

  • Quotes

    • Erica: Everything that you've taught me, it's made me braver, somehow.
      Dr. Tom: It's time, Erica. Choose a door.

    • Rebecca: Here's the thing, Erica, we learn from each other because we've all been through the same thing with Dr. Tom.
      Erica: I'm-I'm sorry. Dr. … Tom?
      Rebecca: Yeah, we're all patients of his. He didn't tell you?
      Erica (stammers): Well, he is a doctor and … I mean, of course, he has other patients. That just … that goes without saying … So, you said that this is Phase Two - and how many phases are there?
      Dr. Tom: Three.
      Erica: And the third phase, it's … what … exactly?
      Adam: You really have no clue? (Erica looks hesitant) You become a doctor, Erica. That's Phase Three.

    • Erica: I become a doctor?
      Dr. Tom: Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. No one here is becoming a doctor … anytime soon. This is the next phase of your journey as a patient.
      Darryl: We do though, you know, we do get to "practice" on each other - instead of torturing real patients.

    • Adam: You say you're excited?
      Erica: Yeah.
      Adam: I don't believe it … 'cause actually you look upset and defensive. And check out your arms, they're all … closed up. You look like you're hidin' somethin'.
      Erica: Well, I'm not hiding anything. I'm fine, I'm just … (stammers) a little bit nervous, maybe, but that's normal given the circumstances.
      Adam: Nerves, sure, yeah, but that's not what I mean. It's like you're telling us what you think we want to hear.
      Erica: It really just feels to me like you're picking on me.
      Adam: I'm not, Erica … and I'm not judgin' you either. I'm just asking you to be honest.
      Erica: And why would I lie?
      Adam: Well, being a hundred percent honest in a room full of strangers is really hard.
      Erica (hesitates and sighs): I don't really know what … you want me to say.

    • Erica: Dave likes men!? Men … they like Dave?
      Julianne: Yes, chicken, that's how "gay" works.

    • Julianne: Okay, so tell me what, what do you know about E-Books?
      Seth: E-Books? Are you kidding me? I download everything I read. They're fantastic!
      Julianne: And that's what I'm talking about. E-Books put the "E" in future - and the future is now.

    • Brent: Look, I'm not saying I've been perfect in all this. "Brent" makes mistakes, okay? And what happened to you … what happened to you is my biggest. Let me talk to Galvin and see if I can convince him to give you your job back now that things have settled.
      Erica: Brent, I don't want my job back, 'cause … we have started our own publishing company.
      Brent: Oh, Erica. "We've started"? What are you, Julianne's assistant?
      Erica: No, I'm her partner. We're-we're equals.
      Brent: Equals?
      Erica: Mm-hmm.
      Brent: Right. She does the schmoozing and you fetch the vino - or the lattes - stand and smile while she talks a blue streak.

    • Dealer: Rock, meth, smack … I got it, you want it?
      Erica: No. Uh, no, thank you.
      Dealer: Come on, baby, I'll give it to you cheap. (grabs his crotch) You hook me up, I'll hook you up.
      Dr. Tom: She said she's not interested.
      Dealer (laughs at Dr. Tom's brown ensemble with a long leather coat and fedora): Who are you? Shaft? (Dr. Tom opens the coat to reveal a large handgun) All right, I'll leave this bitch for you.
      Erica: Bitch!? Excuse me?! (to Dr. Tom) Was that really necessary?
      Dr. Tom: What?
      Erica: The gun?
      Dr. Tom: Ah. (pulls out the water pistol and squirts it)

    • Adam: Oh, is that what I'm doing, is it, I'm avoiding the pain?
      Erica: Yes. I mean, you're out here flirting with nurses, you're delivering stolen watches, you're doing everything you can do to avoid being in that room with her.
      Adam: So now you're Dr. Tom?
      Erica: No , uh …
      Adam: So what, you got some quote for me? You think you're an expert after one session?
      Erica: I'm trying to help you and-and you won't let me.
      Adam: Then maybe you should just go.
      Erica (stammers): Adam …
      Adam: Just get outta here. Go. Just go!

    • Rebecca: Don't close up, stay with it, whatever you're feeling right now.
      Erica (in a rising, angry voice): Maybe I don't wanna feel whatever it is that I'M FEELING, OKAY!?
      Dr. Tom: Uh, you know, Erica, that may be true, but you know that ignoring it is not gonna make it go away.
      Erica: I feel angry … with you.
      Dr. Tom: Why?
      Erica: Because you-you did this. You came into my life and you made me trust you - and then I find out that I'm not the only one? (sobbing) I don't wanna do this and I don't wanna say this. (sobbing and sniffling) I told you that … that … I told you that I was ready - and that I wouldn't let fear hold me back anymore … and now all I can feel … is this horrible fear. Like … like … that I can't run a company, and that I can't be alone, and that … I can't … I can't do this without you … And I'm sorry, but … I'm not ready to be here.
      Dr. Tom: Erica.
      Erica: I'm not.
      Dr. Tom: Erica, don't you see? You are ready. You just proved that.
      Erica: How? By … by bawling and-and saying how stupid I feel?
      Dr. Tom: No, by facing it … by admitting it, you know, out loud, to us - to yourself.

    • Erica: I'm not gonna judge you, Adam.
      Adam: I hate her. She was an awful mother, and you're just … not supposed to say that
      Erica: Why was she awful?
      Adam: My dad … beat us - and she let it happen. You know, stood by, didn't stop him. And the reason I worked the night that she died was so that I wouldn't have to be here … and pretend to care … 'cause I don't. I really don't.
      Erica: If you don't care, Adam, then why are you here? Why is this a regret?

    • Julianne: I'm sorry, I'm looking for someone, no time to chat.
      Brent: If by "someone" you mean Erica, I think I saw her on a coffee break - with the other wait staff.
      Julianne: What do you want, Brent?
      Brent: To congratulate you on your new business venture - and on signing Seth Newman. Pickin' through River Rock's trash for scraps … suits you.
      Erica (walking up smiling): Hey.
      Julianne: Have you lost your mind!? You opened your big mouth to Brent!?
      Erica (stammering): Uh, Julianne, please. Before you …
      Julianne: Explode? Because you told Brent about Seth, a writer we don't have a signed deal with?
      Erica: I'm sorry, I …
      Julianne: It's basic, Erica. We're partners, so what you do, what you say, it effects me. Think about that the next time you decide to be a big hero.

    • Erica: From the first moment we come into this world, we feel : pain and joy and fear and rage. We learn to hide the feelings that frighten us - first, from others, then from ourselves. Many of us live our lives distant from our deepest feelings - and never stop to wonder : what would happen if we allowed ourselves to feel them fully, to express and share them with the world?

    • Julianne: Being totally self-consciously cheesy here, but, chicken, you kinda … you kinda complete me.
      Erica (happily squeals): Okay … but …
      Julianne: But what? Get it out, say it now.
      Erica: I'm also worried because we haven't always been equals.
      Julianne: That I will walk all over you and treat you like my assistant?
      Erica: Yeah.
      Julianne: Well, you know, Erica, I haven't always been the most sensitive person on the planet.
      Erica (playfully sarcastic): No-o, you?
      Julianne: Have I done something? You have to spell it out for me.
      Erica (exhales and clears throat): When you asked me to get the drinks, I just felt like …
      Julianne: Oh.
      Erica: You know, and I know that it sounds silly …
      Julianne: Oh, no it doesn't, but I didn't mean it that way …
      Erica: No, I know, I know.
      Julianne: But still, right? It-it felt … kinda like the old days?
      Erica: A bit.
      Julianne (sighs): Noted. I'm sorry.

    • (Ivan suggests $1,500 a month to rent Erica and Julianne office space)
      Julianne: Oh! Too rich for our blood.
      Dave: We'll give it to you for a thousand, lattes included - vanilla lattes.
      Ivan: David!
      Dave: Ivan, I've spent our relationship bending over backwards for you. Now it's your turn to bend over for me
      Ivan: What?
      Dave: You know what I mean.

    • Erica: Dr. Tom, just … one last question.
      Dr. Tom: Uh-huh?
      Erica: Did you know that I would … flame out the way that I did?
      Dr. Tom: Um, no. No, all I knew was that you didn't want to face what you felt … You know, it's like a … a pot of water - you know, you turn up the heat and, sooner-or-later, it's bound to boil over.
      Erica: Really? A simile, that's … that's all you got for me?
      Dr. Tom: "Pressure makes diamonds!" - General George S. Patton.
      Erica: Yeah, I've heard that one before.

    • Dr. Arthur: You look anxious.
      Dr. Naadiah: Trying not to be.
      Dr. Arthur: Well, how can I help?
      Dr. Naadiah: I'm concerned about Tom. Nothing's happened yet, but I'm worried.
      Dr. Arthur: If nothing's happened, why are you worried?
      Dr. Naadiah: This is a mistake, Arthur. Erica should be doing Phase Two with me.
      Dr. Arthur: Noted … again. But for now - denied.

  • Notes

    • Original International Air Dates:
      U.S. : January 26, 2011 on SOAPnet
      U.K. : April 10, 2011 on E4/E4 HD

  • Allusions

    • Erica: Look, I'm not used to being dropped into the middle of a Tarantino film, okay?

      Complaining about being dropped into the middle of a "police chase", Erica alludes to the American director/screenwriter Quentin Tarantino - known for his action-thriller films and their outbursts of stylish and kinetic violence.

    • Dealer: Who are you? Shaft?

      Referring to Dr. Tom's whole "badass" attitude and brown ensemble (topped by a long leather coat and feathered fedora), the dealer alludes to the often leather-clad character Richard Roundtree played in director Gordon Parks' 1971 blaxploitation film, Shaft.

    • Julianne: Well, it looks like Fraggle Rock but it sounds like Queer as Folk.

      Describing the scene at "Goblins", Julianne refers to the remodeling taking place there by alluding to the strange cave-world of Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock and to the sexual orientation of its owners by alluding to the gay-themed, relationship drama of Queer as Folk.