Breakings News: Paul F. Tompkins says that everyone is gay, Jeffrey Ross can't dance and the Emmy's stunk. He feels that Best Week Ever should postpone the show until they can deal with the issues.
Lindsay Lohan & Clay Aiken announce that they're gay; Emmy's had the lowest rated show in years and had five hosts, Heidi Klum shows the difference between drama & comedy, Josh Groban's TV theme song medley; Dancing with the Stars: Cloris Leachman is reality superstar of the week: 90210 girls are too skinny but Judah Friedlander disagrees, saying the media is jealous because they're hot
Spencer Pratt's Movie Reviews: The Dark Knight, Pratt says it should have been called Joker.
Heroes: Sex! Violence! Product placement!
Morning shows: Regis is weird; Rachel Ray interviews Celine Dion, View: Whoopi wears a dress & Bill Clinton
Audience Choice: Zach & Josh from Chuck. Do they impersonate 80's videos, hunt down Bigfoot or show clips from next week's Chuck. (It's number 3)
Sizzler: Jamie Lynn Spears photo of her breastfeeding has been stolen, sparking a child porn investigation, porn star Jenna Jameson pregnant with twins, News from 1957: John McCain dated a Brazillian beauty queen who was revealed this week
In Case You Missed It: One Life to Live: hot, yet sad shower scene; Rachel Zoe Project: reads about herself on the internet even though there's nothing on the screen; Martha Stewart Show: Martha brings out 15 foot wiener
Best Week Ever: Disappointment: David Blaine stunt goes bad